The Cast (in order of appearance [roughly]):
Il Cast (in ordine di apparizione [circa]):
KING ARTHUR : Graham Chapman
Re Artù: Graham Chapman
PATSY : Terry Gilliam
PATSY: Terry Gilliam
GUARD #1 : Michael Palin
GUARDIA # 1: Michael Palin
GUARD #2 : John Cleese
GUARDIA # 2: John Cleese
MORTICIAN : Eric Idle
MORTICIAN: Eric Idle
CUSTOMER : John Cleese
CLIENTE: John Cleese
DEAD PERSON : ???
PERSONA MORTA : ???
DENNIS : Michael Palin
DENNIS: Michael Palin
WOMAN : Terry Jones
DONNA: Terry Jones
BLACK KNIGHT : John Cleese (?)
BLACK KNIGHT: John Cleese (?)
VILLAGER #1 : Eric Idle
CONTADINO # 1: Eric Idle
VILLAGER #2 : Michael Palin
CONTADINO # 2: Michael Palin
SIR BEDEMIR : Terry Jones
SIR BEDEMIR: Terry Jones
WITCH : ???
WITCH: ???
VILLAGER #3 : John Cleese
CONTADINO # 3: John Cleese
NARRATOR: Michael Palin
NARRATORE: Michael Palin
SIR LAUNCELOT : John Cleese
Ser Lancillotto: John Cleese
SIR GALAHAD : Michael Palin
Sir Galahad: Michael Palin
SIR ROBIN : Eric Idle
Sir Robin: Eric Idle
GOD : ???
DIO: ???
FRENCH GUARD : John Cleese
GUARDIA FRANCESE: John Cleese
MINSTREL : ???
MINSTREL: ???
LEFT HEAD : Terry Jones
Andate a sinistra: Terry Jones
MIDDLE HEAD : Graham Chapman
TESTA MEDIO: Graham Chapman
RIGHT HEAD : Michael Palin
Andate a destra: Michael Palin
OLD MAN : Terry Gilliam
VECCHIO: Terry Gilliam
HEAD KNIGHT OF NEE : Michael Palin
TESTA DI CAVALIERE NEE: Michael Palin
FATHER : Michael Palin
PADRE: Michael Palin
PRINCE HERBERT : Terry Jones
PRINCE HERBERT: Terry Jones
GUARD #1 : Eric Idle
GUARDIA # 1: Eric Idle
GUARD #2 : ???
GUARDIA # 2: ???
CONCORDE : Eric Idle
CONCORDE: Eric Idle
OLD CRONE : ???
Vecchia rugosa: ???
ROGER (THE SHRUBBER) : Eric Idle
ROGER (decespugliatore): Eric Idle
TIM (THE ENCHANTER): John Cleese
TIM (l'incantatore): John Cleese
BROTHER MAYNARD: Eric Idle
BROTHER MAYNARD: Eric Idle
SECOND BROTHER: Michael Palin
Secondo fratello: Michael Palin
Scene 1
Scena 1
[wind]
[vento]
[clop clop]
[Clop clop]
ARTHUR: Whoa there!
ARTHUR: ci Whoa!
[clop clop]
[Clop clop]
GUARD #1: Halt! Who goes there?
GUARDIA # 1: Alt! Chi va li?
ARTHUR: It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle
ARTHUR: Sono io, Arthur, figlio di Uther Pendragon, dal castello
of Camelot. King of the Britons, defeator of the Saxons,
di Camelot. Re dei Britanni, defeator dei Sassoni,
sovereign of all England!
sovrana di tutta l'Inghilterra!
GUARD #1: Pull the other one!
GUARDIA # 1: Estrarre l'altra!
ARTHUR: I am. And this my trusty servant Patsy. We have
ARTHUR: Io sono. E questo il mio fidato servitore Patsy. abbiamo
ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights
cavalcato la lunghezza e la larghezza del terreno alla ricerca di cavalieri
who will join me in my court of Camelot. I must speak with your
che si unirà a me nella mia corte di Camelot. Devo parlare con il
lord and master.
signore e padrone.
GUARD #1: What, ridden on a horse?
GUARDIA # 1: Cosa, cavalcato su un cavallo?
ARTHUR: Yes!
ARTHUR: Sì!
GUARD #1: You're using coconuts!
GUARDIA # 1: Stai usando noci di cocco!
ARTHUR: What?
ARTHUR: Cosa?
GUARD #1: You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're
GUARDIA # 1: Hai due metà vuote della noce di cocco e sei
bangin' 'em together.
battere 'em insieme.
ARTHUR: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered
ARTHUR: E allora? Abbiamo cavalcato da quando le nevi di inverno coperto
this land, through the kingdom of Mercea, through--
questa terra, attraverso il regno di Mercea, through--
GUARD #1: Where'd you get the coconut?
GUARDIA # 1: Dove hai preso la noce di cocco?
ARTHUR: We found them.
ARTHUR: li abbiamo trovati.
GUARD #1: Found them? In Mercea? The coconut's tropical!
GUARDIA # 1: li ha trovati? In Mercea? Il tropicale di cocco!
ARTHUR: What do you mean?
ARTHUR: Che vuoi dire?
GUARD #1: Well, this is a temperate zone.
GUARDIA # 1: Beh, questa è una zona temperata.
ARTHUR: The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house
ARTHUR: La rondine può volare a sud con il sole o la casa
martin or the plumber may seek warmer climes in winter yet these
martin o l'idraulico possono cercare climi più caldi in inverno ma questi
are not strangers to our land.
Non sono estranei alla nostra terra.
GUARD #1: Are you suggesting coconuts are migratory?
GUARDIA # 1: noci di cocco stai suggerendo sono migratori?
ARTHUR: Not at all, they could be carried.
ARTHUR: Niente affatto, potrebbero essere effettuate.
GUARD #1: What -- a swallow carrying a coconut?
GUARDIA # 1: Che - una rondine che trasporta una noce di cocco?
ARTHUR: It could grip it by the husk!
ARTHUR: potrebbe afferrarlo dalla buccia!
GUARD #1: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a
GUARDIA # 1: Non è una questione di dove si afferra esso! È un
simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not
semplice questione di rapporti di peso! Un uccello cinque once non poteva
carry a 1 pound coconut.
portare una noce di cocco 1 libbra.
ARTHUR: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your
ARTHUR: Beh, non importa. Vuoi andare a dire la vostra
master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here.
master che Arthur dalla Corte di Camelot è qui.
GUARD #1: Listen, in order to maintain air-speed velocity, a
GUARD # 1: Ascolta, al fine di mantenere la velocità dell'aria velocità,
swallow needs to beat its wings 43 times every second, right?
ingoiare bisogno di battere le ali 43 volte al secondo, giusto?
ARTHUR: Please!
ARTHUR: Per favore!
GUARD #1: Am I right?
GUARDIA # 1: Ho ragione?
ARTHUR: I'm not interested!
ARTHUR: Non mi interessa!
GUARD #2: It could be carried by an African swallow!
GUARDIA # 2: Potrebbe essere effettuata da un rondine africana!
GUARD #1: Oh, yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European
GUARDIA # 1: Oh, sì, un africano ingoiare forse, ma non un europeo
swallow, that's my point.
rondine, questo è il mio punto.
GUARD #2: Oh, yeah, I agree with that...
GUARDIA # 2: Oh, sì, sono d'accordo con quello ...
ARTHUR: Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court
ARTHUR: Volete chiedere al padrone se vuole unirsi mia corte
at Camelot?!
a Camelot ?!
GUARD #1: But then of course African swallows are not migratory.
GUARDIA # 1: Ma poi, naturalmente, rondini africani non sono migratori.
GUARD #2: Oh, yeah...
GUARDIA # 2: Oh, sì ...
GUARD #1: So they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway...
GUARDIA # 1: Quindi non potevano portare una noce di cocco indietro comunque ...
[clop clop]
[Clop clop]
GUARD #2: Wait a minute -- supposing two swallows carried it
GUARDIA # 2: Aspetta un minuto - supponendo due rondini portarono
together?
insieme?
GUARD #1: No, they'd have to have it on a line.
GUARDIA # 1: No, avrebbero dovuto farlo su una linea.
GUARD #2: Well, simple! They'd just use a standard creeper!
GUARDIA # 2: Beh, semplice! Avevano appena usano un rampicante di serie!
GUARD #1: What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers?
GUARDIA # 1: Cosa, tenutasi sotto la dorsale guida piume?
GUARD #2: Well, why not?
GUARDIA # 2: Beh, perché no?
Scene 2
Scene 2
MORTICIAN: Bring out your dead!
MORTICIAN: Tirate fuori i vostri morti!
Bring out your dead!
Tirate fuori i vostri morti!
[clang] Bring out your dead!
[Clang] Tirate fuori i vostri morti!
[clang] Bring out your dead!
[Clang] Tirate fuori i vostri morti!
[clang] Bring out your dead!
[Clang] Tirate fuori i vostri morti!
[clang] Bring out your dead!
[Clang] Tirate fuori i vostri morti!
CUSTOMER: Here's one -- nine pence.
CLIENTE: Ecco 1-9 pence.
DEAD PERSON: I'm not dead!
Morto: io non sono morto!
MORTICIAN: What?
MORTICIAN: Cosa?
CUSTOMER: Nothing -- here's your nine pence.
CLIENTE: Nulla - ecco la vostra nove pence.
DEAD PERSON: I'm not dead!
Morto: io non sono morto!
MORTICIAN: Here -- he says he's not dead!
MORTICIAN: qui - dice che non è morto!
CUSTOMER: Yes, he is.
CLIENTE: Sì, lo è.
DEAD PERSON: I'm not!
Morto: io non sono!
MORTICIAN: He isn't.
MORTICIAN: Egli non è.
CUSTOMER: Well, he will be soon, he's very ill.
CLIENTE: Beh, lo sarà presto, lui è molto malato.
DEAD PERSON: I'm getting better!
Morto: sto migliorando!
CUSTOMER: No, you're not -- you'll be stone dead in a moment.
CLIENTE: No, non stai - sarete pietra morta in un attimo.
MORTICIAN: Oh, I can't take him like that -- it's against
MORTICIAN: Oh, non posso prenderlo in quel modo - è contro
regulations.
regolamenti.
DEAD PERSON: I don't want to go in the cart!
Morto: io non voglio andare nel carrello!
CUSTOMER: Oh, don't be such a baby.
CLIENTE: Oh, non essere tale un bambino.
MORTICIAN: I can't take him...
MORTICIAN: Non riesco a prenderlo ...
DEAD PERSON: I feel fine!
Morto: mi sento bene!
CUSTOMER: Oh, do us a favor...
CLIENTE: Oh, noi fare un favore ...
MORTICIAN: I can't.
MORTICIAN: Non posso.
CUSTOMER: Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He
CLIENTE: Beh, si può rimanere in giro un paio di minuti? lui
won't be long.
non passerà molto tempo.
MORTICIAN: Naaah, I got to go on to Robinson's -- they've lost
MORTICIAN: Naaah, ho avuto modo di andare a Robinson - hanno perso
nine today.
nove oggi.
CUSTOMER: Well, when is your next round?
CLIENTE: Beh, quando è il tuo turno successivo?
MORTICIAN: Thursday.
MORTICIAN: Giovedi.
DEAD PERSON: I think I'll go for a walk.
Morto: Penso che andrò a fare una passeggiata.
CUSTOMER: You're not fooling anyone y'know. Look, isn't there
CLIENTE: Non stai prendendo in giro nessuno, sai. Guarda, non c'è
something you can do?
qualcosa che si può fare?
DEAD PERSON: I feel happy... I feel happy.
Morto: mi sento felice ... mi sento felice.
[whop]
[Whop]
CUSTOMER: Ah, thanks very much.
CLIENTE: Ah, grazie mille.
MORTICIAN: Not at all. See you on Thursday.
MORTICIAN: Niente affatto. Ci vediamo giovedì.
CUSTOMER: Right.
CLIENTE: Giusto.
[clop clop]
[Clop clop]
MORTICIAN: Who's that then?
MORTICIAN: Chi è quello, allora?
CUSTOMER: I don't know.
CLIENTE: Non lo so.
MORTICIAN: Must be a king.
MORTICIAN: Deve essere un re.
CUSTOMER: Why?
CLIENTE: Perché?
MORTICIAN: He hasn't got shit all over him.
MORTICIAN: Non ha un cazzo tutto su di lui.
Scene 3
scena 3
[clop clop]
[Clop clop]
ARTHUR: Old woman!
ARTHUR: Anziana!
DENNIS: Man!
DENNIS: Man!
ARTHUR: Man, sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there?
ARTHUR: L'uomo, mi dispiace. Cosa cavaliere vive in quel castello laggiù?
DENNIS: I'm thirty seven.
DENNIS: Sono trentasette.
ARTHUR: What?
ARTHUR: Cosa?
DENNIS: I'm thirty seven -- I'm not old!
DENNIS: Sono trentasette - Io non sono vecchio!
ARTHUR: Well, I can't just call you 'Man'.
ARTHUR: Beh, non posso solo chiamarti 'Man'.
DENNIS: Well, you could say 'Dennis'.
DENNIS: Beh, si potrebbe dire 'Dennis'.
ARTHUR: Well, I didn't know you were called 'Dennis.'
ARTHUR: Beh, io non so siete stati chiamati 'Dennis.'
DENNIS: Well, you didn't bother to find out, did you?
DENNIS: Beh, non si sono preoccupati di scoprire, vero?
ARTHUR: I did say sorry about the 'old woman,' but from the
ARTHUR: Mi ha detto dispiaciuto per la 'vecchia', ma dal
behind you looked--
dietro di te looked--
DENNIS: What I object to is you automatically treat me like an
DENNIS: Quello che mi oppongo a è automaticamente mi trattano come un
inferior!
inferiore!
ARTHUR: Well, I AM king...
ARTHUR: Beh, io sono il re ...
DENNIS: Oh king, eh, very nice. An' how'd you get that, eh? By
DENNIS: Oh re, eh, molto bello. Un 'Come hai fatto a questo, eh? Di
exploitin' the workers -- by 'angin' on to outdated imperialist
sfruttando i lavoratori - da 'anging a imperialista obsoleti
dogma which perpetuates the economic an' social differences in our
dogma che perpetua le differenze sociali un 'economiche nel nostro
society! If there's ever going to be any progress--
società! Se c'è mai sarà alcun proseguendo,
WOMAN: Dennis, there's some lovely filth down here. Oh -- how
DONNA: Dennis, c'è qualche bella sporcizia qui. Oh come
d'you do?
d'fai?
ARTHUR: How do you do, good lady. I am Arthur, King of the
ARTHUR: Come si fa a fare, buona signora. Sono Arthur, King of the
Britons. Who's castle is that?
Britannici. Chi è il castello è che?
WOMAN: King of the who?
DONNA: Re del chi?
ARTHUR: The Britons.
ARTHUR: I Britanni.
WOMAN: Who are the Britons?
DONNA: Chi sono i britannici?
ARTHUR: Well, we all are. we're all Britons and I am your king.
ARTHUR: Beh, lo siamo tutti. siamo tutti cittadini britannici e io sono il vostro re.
WOMAN: I didn't know we had a king. I thought we were an
DONNA: Non sapevo che avevamo un re. Ho pensato che fosse un
autonomous collective.
collettivo autonomo.
DENNIS: You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship.
DENNIS: Ti stai prendendo in giro da soli. Viviamo in una dittatura.
A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes--
Un autocrazia auto-perpetua, in cui il lavoro classes--
WOMAN: Oh there you go, bringing class into it again.
DONNA: Oh ci si va, portando in classe di nuovo.
DENNIS: That's what it's all about if only people would--
DENNIS: Questo è ciò che è tutta una questione, se solo le persone would--
ARTHUR: Please, please good people. I am in haste. Who lives
ARTHUR: per favore, brava gente. Sono in fretta. Che vive
in that castle?
in quel castello?
WOMAN: No one live there.
DONNA: Nessuno vive lì.
ARTHUR: Then who is your lord?
ARTHUR: Allora chi è il tuo padrone?
WOMAN: We don't have a lord.
DONNA: Non abbiamo un signore.
ARTHUR: What?
ARTHUR: Cosa?
DENNIS: I told you. We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We
DENNIS: Te l'ho detto. Siamo un comune anarco-sindacalista. Noi
take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the
prendere a turno per agire come una sorta di delegato per la
week.
settimana.
ARTHUR: Yes.
ARTHUR: Sì.
DENNIS: But all the decision of that officer have to be ratified
DENNIS: Ma la decisione di quell'ufficiale deve essere ratificato
at a special biweekly meeting.
in una riunione speciale bisettimanale.
ARTHUR: Yes, I see.
ARTHUR: Sì, vedo.
DENNIS: By a simple majority in the case of purely internal
DENNIS: a maggioranza semplice nel caso di puramente interna
affairs,--
affari,--
ARTHUR: Be quiet!
ARTHUR: Be Quiet!
DENNIS: --but by a two-thirds majority in the case of more--
DENNIS: --ma a maggioranza dei due terzi nel caso di more--
ARTHUR: Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!
ARTHUR: Be Quiet! Ti ordino di essere tranquillo!
WOMAN: Order, eh -- who does he think he is?
DONNA: Ordine, eh - Chi si crede di essere?
ARTHUR: I am your king!
ARTHUR: Io sono il tuo re!
WOMAN: Well, I didn't vote for you.
DONNA: Beh, non ho votato per te.
ARTHUR: You don't vote for kings.
ARTHUR: Non votare per i re.
WOMAN: Well, 'ow did you become king then?
DONNA: Beh, 'ow sei diventato re?
ARTHUR: The Lady of the Lake, [angels sing] her arm clad in the
ARTHUR: La Signora del Lago, [gli angeli cantare] il braccio rivestito in
purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of
più pura sciamito scintillante, tenuta in alto Excalibur dal seno della
the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was to
l'acqua significanti dalla Divina Provvidenza che io, Arthur, è stato quello di
carry Excalibur. [singing stops] That is why I am your king!
portare Excalibur. [Cantare fermate] Ecco perché io sono il vostro re!
DENNIS: Listen -- strange women lying in ponds distributing
DENNIS: Ascolta - strane donne che si trovano in stagni distribuzione
swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive
spade è alcuna base per un sistema di governo. esecutivo supremo
power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some
il potere deriva da un mandato dalle masse, non da qualche
farcical aquatic ceremony.
farsesca cerimonia acquatica.
ARTHUR: Be quiet!
ARTHUR: Be Quiet!
DENNIS: Well you can't expect to wield supreme executive power
DENNIS: Beh, non si può pretendere di esercitare il potere esecutivo supremo
just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!
solo perche 'un po' di torta acquoso ha gettato una spada a voi!
ARTHUR: Shut up!
ARTHUR: Taci!
DENNIS: I mean, if I went around sayin' I was an empereror just
DENNIS: Voglio dire, se fossi andato in giro a dire che ero un empereror solo
because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me they'd
perché alcuni bint inumidito aveva lanciò una scimitarra mi avrebbero
put me away!
mi ha messo via!
ARTHUR: Shut up! Will you shut up!
ARTHUR: Taci! Vuoi stare zitto!
DENNIS: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system.
DENNIS: Ah, ora vediamo la violenza insita nel sistema.
ARTHUR: Shut up!
ARTHUR: Taci!
DENNIS: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system!
DENNIS: Oh! Venite a vedere la violenza insita nel sistema!
HELP! HELP! I'm being repressed!
AIUTO! AIUTO! Mi viene represso!
ARTHUR: Bloody peasant!
ARTHUR: Bloody contadino!
DENNIS: Oh, what a give away. Did you here that, did you here
DENNIS: Oh, che dare via. Ti è qui che, hai fatto qui
that, eh? That's what I'm on about -- did you see him repressing
che, eh? Questo è quello che sto su circa - l'hai visto reprimendo
me, you saw it didn't you?
me, visto che non è vero?
Scene 4
Scene 4
[battle sounds]
[Battaglia suoni]
[Black Knight defeats a worthless-piece-of-shit-knight]
[Black Knight sconfigge un inutile pezzo-di-merda-cavaliere]
ARTHUR: You fight with the strength of many men, Sir knight.
ARTHUR: Si combatte con la forza di molti uomini, Sir cavaliere.
I am Arthur, King of the Britons.
Sono Arthur, il re dei Britanni.
[pause]
[pausa]
I seek the finest and the bravest knights in the land to
Cerco il più fine e cavalieri coraggiosi nel paese di
join me in my Court of Camelot.
unirvi a me nella mia corte di Camelot.
[pause]
[pausa]
You have proved yourself worthy; will you join me?
Hai dimostrato degno; vuoi unirti a me?
[pause]
[pausa]
You make me sad. So be it. Come, Patsy.
Mi rendi triste. Così sia. Vieni, Patsy.
BLACK KNIGHT: None shall pass.
BLACK KNIGHT: Nessuno passerà.
ARTHUR: What?
ARTHUR: Cosa?
BLACK KNIGHT: None shall pass.
BLACK KNIGHT: Nessuno passerà.
ARTHUR: I have no quarrel with you, good Sir knight, but I must
ARTHUR: non ho nulla contro di te, buon cavaliere Sir, ma devo
cross this bridge.
attraversare questo ponte.
BLACK KNIGHT: Then you shall die.
BLACK KNIGHT: Allora morirai.
ARTHUR: I command you as King of the Britons to stand aside!
ARTHUR: io vi comando come re dei Britanni a farsi da parte!
BLACK KNIGHT: I move for no man.
Cavaliere nero: mi muovo per nessun uomo.
ARTHUR: So be it!
ARTHUR: Così sia!
[hah]
[Ah]
[parry thrust]
[Spinta parry]
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's left arm off]
[ARTHUR braciole braccio sinistro del Cavaliere Nero off]
ARTHUR: Now stand aside, worthy adversary.
ARTHUR: Ora si faccia da parte, degno avversario.
BLACK KNIGHT: 'Tis but a scratch.
BLACK KNIGHT: 'Tis ma un graffio.
ARTHUR: A scratch? Your arm's off!
ARTHUR: Un graffio? off del tuo braccio!
BLACK KNIGHT: No, it isn't.
BLACK KNIGHT: No, non lo è.
ARTHUR: Well, what's that then?
ARTHUR: Bene, che cos'è allora?
BLACK KNIGHT: I've had worse.
Cavaliere nero: Ho avuto peggio.
ARTHUR: You liar!
ARTHUR: Bugiardo!
BLACK KNIGHT: Come on you pansy!
BLACK KNIGHT: Andiamo si Pansy!
[hah]
[Ah]
[parry thrust]
[Spinta parry]
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's right arm off]
[ARTHUR braciole braccio destro del Cavaliere Nero off]
ARTHUR: Victory is mine!
ARTHUR: La vittoria è mia!
[kneeling]
[Ginocchio]
We thank thee Lord, that in thy merc-
Ti ringraziamo Signore, che nella tua merc-
[Black Knight kicks Arthur in the head while he is praying]
[Black Knight calci Arthur alla testa mentre sta pregando]
BLACK KNIGHT: Come on then.
CAVALIERE NERO: Andiamo allora.
ARTHUR: What?
ARTHUR: Cosa?
BLACK KNIGHT: Have at you!
BLACK KNIGHT: avete a voi!
ARTHUR: You are indeed brave, Sir knight, but the fight is mine.
ARTHUR: Siete davvero coraggioso, Sir cavaliere, ma la lotta è mio.
BLACK KNIGHT: Oh, had enough, eh?
BLACK KNIGHT: Oh, avuto abbastanza, eh?
ARTHUR: Look, you stupid bastard, you've got no arms left.
ARTHUR: Senti, stupido bastardo, non hai braccio sinistro.
BLACK KNIGHT: Yes I have.
Cavaliere nero: Sì ho.
ARTHUR: Look!
ARTHUR: Guarda!
BLACK KNIGHT: Just a flesh wound.
BLACK KNIGHT: solo un graffio.
[Headbutts Arthur in the chest]
[Dà una testata Arthur al petto]
ARTHUR: Look, stop that.
ARTHUR: Guarda, smettila.
BLACK KNIGHT: Chicken! Chicken!
BLACK KNIGHT: pollo! Pollo!
ARTHUR: Look, I'll have your leg. Right!
ARTHUR: Guarda, avrò la gamba. Destra!
[whop]
[Whop]
BLACK KNIGHT: Right, I'll do you for that!
BLACK KNIGHT: A destra, lo farò te per questo!
ARTHUR: You'll what?
ARTHUR: Tu cosa?
BLACK KNIGHT: Come 'ere!
BLACK KNIGHT: Vieni 'ere!
ARTHUR: What are you going to do, bleed on me?
ARTHUR: Che cosa hai intenzione di fare, sanguinare su di me?
BLACK KNIGHT: I'm invincible!
BLACK KNIGHT: Sono invincibile!
ARTHUR: You're a loony.
ARTHUR: Sei un pazzo.
BLACK KNIGHT: The Black Knight always triumphs! Have at you!
BLACK KNIGHT: Il cavaliere nero trionfa sempre! Avere a voi!
Come on then.
Dai su.
[whop]
[Whop]
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's other leg off]
[ARTHUR braciole altra gamba del CAVALIERE NERO off]
BLACK KNIGHT: All right; we'll call it a draw.
BLACK KNIGHT: Va bene; che chiameremo un pareggio.
ARTHUR: Come, Patsy.
ARTHUR: Vieni, Patsy.
BLACK KNIGHT: Oh, oh, I see, running away then. You yellow
BLACK KNIGHT: Oh, oh, vedo, scappando poi. È giallo
bastards! Come back here and take what's coming to you. I'll bite
bastardi! Torna qui e prendere quello che sta venendo a voi. Mi mordo
your legs off!
le gambe off!
Scene 5
Scene 5
CROWD: A witch! A witch! A witch! We've got a witch! A witch!
FOLLA: Una strega! Una strega! Una strega! Abbiamo una strega! Una strega!
VILLAGER #1: We have found a witch, might we burn her?
CONTADINO # 1: Abbiamo trovato una strega, potremmo l'abbiamo bruciare?
CROWD: Burn her! Burn!
FOLLA: bruciarla! Bruciare!
BEDEMIR: How do you know she is a witch?
BEDEMIR: Come fai a sapere che lei è una strega?
VILLAGER #2: She looks like one.
CONTADINO # 2: Sembra uno.
BEDEMIR: Bring her forward.
BEDEMIR: Portala avanti.
WITCH: I'm not a witch. I'm not a witch.
WITCH: Io non sono una strega. Io non sono una strega.
BEDEMIR: But you are dressed as one.
BEDEMIR: Ma tu sei vestito come uno.
WITCH: They dressed me up like this.
WITCH: Mi hanno vestito in questo modo.
CROWD: No, we didn't -- no.
FOLLA: No, non abbiamo - no.
WITCH: And this isn't my nose, it's a false one.
WITCH: E questo non è il mio naso, si tratta di un falso.
BEDEMIR: Well?
BEDEMIR: Allora?
VILLAGER #1: Well, we did do the nose.
CONTADINO # 1: Beh, abbiamo fatto il naso.
BEDEMIR: The nose?
BEDEMIR: Il naso?
VILLAGER #1: And the hat -- but she is a witch!
CONTADINO # 1: e il cappello - ma lei è una strega!
CROWD: Burn her! Witch! Witch! Burn her!
FOLLA: bruciarla! Strega! Strega! Brucia il suo!
BEDEMIR: Did you dress her up like this?
BEDEMIR: Le hai vestire come questo?
CROWD: No, no... no ... yes. Yes, yes, a bit, a bit.
FOLLA: No, no ... no ... sì. Sì, sì, un po ', un po'.
VILLAGER #1: She has got a wart.
CONTADINO # 1: Ha avuto una verruca.
BEDEMIR: What makes you think she is a witch?
BEDEMIR: Cosa ti fa pensare che lei è una strega?
VILLAGER #3: Well, she turned me into a newt.
CONTADINO # 3: Beh, lei mi ha trasformato in un tritone.
BEDEMIR: A newt?
BEDEMIR: Un Tritone?
VILLAGER #3: I got better.
CONTADINO # 3: Ho ottenuto meglio.
VILLAGER #2: Burn her anyway!
CONTADINO # 2: bruciarla comunque!
CROWD: Burn! Burn her!
FOLLA: Brucia! Brucia il suo!
BEDEMIR: Quiet, quiet. Quiet! There are ways of telling whether
BEDEMIR: Calma, calma. Silenzioso! Ci sono modi di dire se
she is a witch.
lei è una strega.
CROWD: Are there? What are they?
FOLLA: ci sono? Quali sono?
BEDEMIR: Tell me, what do you do with witches?
BEDEMIR: Dimmi, che cosa fare con le streghe?
VILLAGER #2: Burn!
CONTADINO # 2: Brucia!
CROWD: Burn, burn them up!
FOLLA: Burn, li consumi!
BEDEMIR: And what do you burn apart from witches?
BEDEMIR: E che cosa si bruciano a parte le streghe?
VILLAGER #1: More witches!
CONTADINO # 1: Più streghe!
VILLAGER #2: Wood!
CONTADINO # 2: Legno!
BEDEMIR: So, why do witches burn?
BEDEMIR: Allora, perché le streghe bruciano?
[pause]
[pausa]
VILLAGER #3: B--... 'cause they're made of wood...?
CONTADINO # 3: B --... perche 'sono fatti di legno ...?
BEDEMIR: Good!
BEDEMIR: Bene!
CROWD: Oh yeah, yeah...
FOLLA: Oh si, si ...
BEDEMIR: So, how do we tell whether she is made of wood?
BEDEMIR: Così, come si fa a dire se si è fatto di legno?
VILLAGER #1: Build a bridge out of her.
CONTADINO # 1: Costruire un ponte fuori di lei.
BEDEMIR: Aah, but can you not also build bridges out of stone?
BEDEMIR: Aah, ma si può non anche costruire ponti su pietra?
VILLAGER #2: Oh, yeah.
CONTADINO # 2: Oh, sì.
BEDEMIR: Does wood sink in water?
BEDEMIR: Fa lavandino legno in acqua?
VILLAGER #1: No, no.
CONTADINO # 1: No, no.
VILLAGER #2: It floats! It floats!
CONTADINO # 2: Si galleggia! Si galleggia!
VILLAGER #1: Throw her into the pond!
CONTADINO # 1: il suo tiro nello stagno!
CROWD: The pond!
FOLLA: Lo stagno!
BEDEMIR: What also floats in water?
BEDEMIR: Che cosa galleggia anche in acqua?
VILLAGER #1: Bread!
CONTADINO # 1: Pane!
VILLAGER #2: Apples!
CONTADINO # 2: mele!
VILLAGER #3: Very small rocks!
CONTADINO # 3: molto piccole rocce!
VILLAGER #1: Cider!
CONTADINO # 1: sidro!
VILLAGER #2: Great gravy!
CONTADINO # 2: Grande sugo!
VILLAGER #1: Cherries!
CONTADINO # 1: Ciliegie!
VILLAGER #2: Mud!
CONTADINO # 2: Mud!
VILLAGER #3: Churches -- churches!
CONTADINO # 3: Chiese - chiese!
VILLAGER #2: Lead -- lead!
CONTADINO # 2: piombo - piombo!
ARTHUR: A duck.
ARTHUR: Un'anatra.
CROWD: Oooh.
FOLLA: Oooh.
BEDEMIR: Exactly! So, logically...,
BEDEMIR: Esattamente! Quindi, logicamente ...,
VILLAGER #1: If... she.. weighs the same as a duck, she's made of
CONTADINO # 1: Se ... lei .. pesa lo stesso di un'anatra, lei è fatta di
wood.
legna.
BEDEMIR: And therefore--?
BEDEMIR: E therefore--?
VILLAGER #1: A witch!
CONTADINO # 1: Una strega!
CROWD: A witch!
FOLLA: Una strega!
BEDEMIR: We shall use my largest scales!
BEDEMIR: useremo i miei più grandi scale!
[yelling]
[Urlando]
BEDEMIR: Right, remove the supports!
BEDEMIR: A destra, rimuovere i supporti!
[whop]
[Whop]
[creak]
[scricchiolare]
CROWD: A witch! A witch!
FOLLA: Una strega! Una strega!
WITCH: It's a fair cop.
WITCH: E 'un poliziotto giusto.
CROWD: Burn her! Burn!
FOLLA: bruciarla! Bruciare!
[yelling]
[Urlando]
BEDEMIR: Who are you who are so wise in the ways of science?
BEDEMIR: Chi sei tu che sei così saggio sulle vie della scienza?
ARTHUR: I am Arthur, King of the Britons.
ARTHUR: Io sono Arthur, il re dei Britanni.
BEDEMIR: My liege!
BEDEMIR: Mio signore!
ARTHUR: Good Sir knight, will you come with me to Camelot,
ARTHUR: Buon cavaliere Sir, vuoi venire con me a Camelot,
and join us at the Round Table?
e unisciti a noi alla tavola rotonda?
BEDEMIR: My liege! I would be honored.
BEDEMIR: Mio signore! Vorrei essere onorato.
ARTHUR: What is your name?
ARTHUR: Qual è il tuo nome?
BEDEMIR: Bedemir, my leige.
BEDEMIR: Bedemir, la mia Leige.
ARTHUR: Then I dub you Sir Bedemir, Knight of the Round Table.
ARTHUR: Poi si duplica Sir Bedemir, cavaliere della Tavola Rotonda.
[Narrative Interlude]
[Narrativa Interlude]
NARRATOR: The wise Sir Bedemir was the first to join King
Narratore: Il saggio Sir Bedemir è stato il primo ad aderire Re
Arthur's knights, but other illustrious names were soon to follow:
cavalieri di Artù, ma altri nomi illustri sono stati presto a seguire:
Sir Launcelot the Brave; Sir Galahad the Pure; and Sir Robin the
Sir Lancillotto the Brave; Sir Galahad la pura; e Sir Robin il
Not-quite-so-brave-as-Sir-Launcelot who had nearly fought the
Non-proprio-così-coraggio-as-Sir-Lancillotto che aveva quasi combattuto il
Dragon of Agnor, who had nearly stood up to the vicious Chicken of
Drago di AgNOR, che si era quasi alzato per il pollo vizioso di
Bristol and who had personally wet himself at the Battle of Badon
Bristol e che aveva personalmente bagnare se stesso nella battaglia di Badon
Hill; and the aptly named Sir Not-appearing-in-this-film. Together
Collina; e giustamente chiamato Sir Non-apparire-in-questo-film. Insieme
they formed a band whose names and deeds were to be retold
hanno formato una band i cui nomi ei fatti dovesse essere raccontata
throughout the centuries, the Knights of the Round Table.
nel corso dei secoli, i Cavalieri della Tavola Rotonda.
Scene 6
Scene 6
BEDEMIR: And that, my liege, is how we know the Earth to be
BEDEMIR: E questo, mio signore, è come sappiamo che la Terra sia
banana-shaped.
A forma di banana.
ARTHUR: This new learning amazes me, Sir Bedemir. Explain again
ARTHUR: Questo nuovo apprendimento mi stupisce, Sir Bedemir. Spiega ancora
how sheeps' bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes.
come vesciche pecore 'possono essere impiegati per prevenire i terremoti.
BEDEMIR: Oh, certainly, sir.
BEDEMIR: Oh, certamente, signore.
LAUNCELOT: Look, my liege!
LANCILLOTTO: Senti, mio signore!
ARTHUR: Camelot!
ARTHUR: Camelot!
GALAHAD: Camelot!
GALAHAD: Camelot!
LAUNCELOT: Camelot!
LANCILLOTTO: Camelot!
PATSY: It's only a model.
PATSY: E 'solo un modello.
ARTHUR: Shhh! Knights, I bid you welcome to your new home. Let
ARTHUR: Shhh! Cavalieri, vi do il benvenuto nella tua nuova casa. lasciare
us ride... to Camelot.
noi cavalchiamo ... a Camelot.
[singing]
[canto]
We're knights of the round table
Noi siamo cavalieri della tavola rotonda
We dance when e'er we're able
Balliamo quando già mai siamo in grado
We do routines and parlour scenes
Facciamo le routine e le scene di società
With footwork impecc-Able.
Con footwork impecc-Able.
We dine well here in Camelot
Abbiamo cenato bene qui a Camelot
We eat ham and jam and spam a lot
Mangiamo prosciutto e marmellata e un sacco di spam
[dancing]
[Danza]
We're knights of the Round Table
Noi siamo cavalieri della tavola rotonda
Our shows are for-mid-able
I nostri spettacoli sono per metà-grado
Oh many times we're given rhymes
Oh quante volte ci è dato rime
That are quite unsing-able
Che sono abbastanza Conuna-able
We not so fat in Camelot
Non così grasso in Camelot
We sing from the diaphragm a lot
Cantiamo dal diaframma molto
[tap-dancing]
[Tip-tap]
Oh we're tough and able
Oh siamo duri e capaci
Quite indefatigable
piuttosto infaticabile
Between our quests we [something]
Tra le nostre missioni abbiamo [qualcosa]
And impersonate Clark Gable
E impersonare Clark Gable
It's a bit too loud in Camelot
E 'un po' troppo forte in Camelot
I have to push the pram a lot.
Devo spingere la carrozzina molto.
ARTHUR: Well, on second thought, let's not go to Camelot -- it is
ARTHUR: Beh, a pensarci bene, cerchiamo di non andare a Camelot - è
a silly place. Right.
un luogo stupido. Destra.
Scene 7
Scene 7
GOD: Arthur! Arthur, King of the Britons! Oh, don't grovel! If
DIO: Arthur! Arthur, il re dei Britanni! Oh, non strisciare per terra! Se
there's one thing I can't stand, it's people groveling.
c'è una cosa che non sopporto, è la gente strisciare.
ARTHUR: Sorry--
ARTHUR: Sorry--
GOD: And don't apologize. Every time I try to talk to someone
DIO: E non scusa. Ogni volta che tento di parlare con qualcuno
it's sorry this and forgive me that and I'm not worthy. What
è dispiaciuto questo e mi perdoni, che e io non sono degno. Che cosa
are you doing now!?
stai facendo ora!?
ARTHUR: I'm averting my eyes, oh Lord.
ARTHUR: Sto distogliere gli occhi, o Signore.
GOD: Well, don't. It's like those miserable Psalms -- they're so
DIO: Beh, non lo fanno. E 'come quei Salmi miserabili - sono così
depressing. Now knock it off!
deprimente. Ora smetterla!
ARTHUR: Yes, Lord.
ARTHUR: Sì, Signore.
GOD: Right! Arthur, King of the Britons -- you're Knights of the
DIO: Giusto! Arthur, il re dei Britanni - sei cavalieri della
Round Table shall have a task to make them an example in these dark
Tavola rotonda ha un compito di renderli un esempio in questi scuro
times.
volte.
ARTHUR: Good idea, oh Lord!
ARTHUR: Buona idea, o Signore!
GOD: 'Course it's a good idea! Behold! Arthur, this is the Holy
DIO: 'Certo che è una buona idea! Ecco! Arthur, questo è il Santo
Grail. Look well, Arthur, for it is your sacred task to seek
Graal. Guardate bene, Arthur, perché è il vostro compito sacro di ricercare
this Grail. That is your purpose, Arthur -- the Quest for the
questo Graal. Questo è il vostro scopo, Arthur - la ricerca del
Holy Grail.
Santo Graal.
ARTHUR: A blessing!
ARTHUR: una benedizione!
LAUNCELOT: A blessing from the Lord!
LANCILLOTTO: una benedizione del Signore!
GALAHAD: God be praised!
GALAHAD: Dio sia lodato!
Scene 8
Scene 8
[clop clop]
[Clop clop]
ARTHUR: Halt! Hallo! Hallo!
ARTHUR: Halt! Salve! Salve!
GUARD: 'Allo! Who is zis?
GUARDIA: 'Allo! Chi è zis?
ARTHUR: It is King Arthur, and these are the Knights of the Round
ARTHUR: Si tratta di Re Artù, e questi sono i cavalieri della rotonda
Table. Who's castle is this?
Tavolo. Chi è il castello è questo?
GUARD: This is the castle of my master, Guido Wommer!
GUARDIA: Questo è il castello del mio maestro, Guido Wommer!
ARTHUR: Go and tell your master that we have been charged by God
ARTHUR: Andate a dire al tuo padrone che siamo stati praticati da Dio
with a sacred quest. If he will give us food and shelter for
con una missione sacra. Se ci darà cibo e rifugio per
the night he can join us in our quest for the Holy Grail.
la notte in cui può unirsi a noi nella nostra ricerca del Santo Graal.
GUARD: Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he'll be very
GUARDIA: Beh, io lo chiederà, ma non credo che sarà molto
keen... Uh, he's already got one, you see?
appassionato ... Uh, ha già ottenuto uno, vedi?
ARTHUR: What?
ARTHUR: Cosa?
GALAHAD: He says they've already got one!
GALAHAD: Egli dice che hanno già ottenuto uno!
ARTHUR: Are you sure he's got one?
ARTHUR: Sei sicuro che lui ha uno?
GUARD: Oh, yes, it's very nice-a (I told him we already got one)
GUARDIA: Oh, sì, è molto bello-a (gli ho detto che abbiamo già ottenuto uno)
ARTHUR: Well, um, can we come up and have a look?
ARTHUR: Beh, um, possiamo venire a dare un'occhiata?
GUARD: Of course not! You are English types-a!
GUARDIA: Certo che no! Sei inglese tipi-a!
ARTHUR: Well, what are you then?
ARTHUR: Beh, che cosa sei allora?
GUARD: I'm French! Why do think I have this outrageous accent,
GUARDIA: Io sono francese! Perché credo di avere questo accento scandaloso,
you silly king!
sciocco re!
GALAHAD: What are you doing in England?
GALAHAD: Che cosa stai facendo in Inghilterra?
GUARD: Mind your own business!
GUARDIA: Fatti gli affari tuoi!
ARTHUR: If you will not show us the Grail, we shall take your
ARTHUR: se non ci mostrerà il Graal, prenderemo la tua
castle by force!
castello con la forza!
GUARD: You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your
GUARDIA: Non spaventarci, inglese maiale cani! Andate e fate bollire la tua
bottoms, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you,
fondi, figli di una persona stupida. Mi soffio il naso a voi,
so-called Arthur-king, you and all your silly English kaniggets.
cosiddetta Arthur-re, tu e tutti i tuoi stupidi kaniggets inglese.
Thppppt!
Thppppt!
GALAHAD: What a strange person.
GALAHAD: Ciò che una persona strana.
ARTHUR: Now look here, my good man!
ARTHUR: Ora guardate qui, buon uomo!
GUARD: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed
GUARDIA: Non voglio parlare con te non più, si svuota diretti
animal food trough water! I fart in your general direction! You
acqua mangiatoia degli animali! Ho scorreggio nella vostra direzione generale! tu
mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
madre era un criceto e il vostro odore padre di sambuco!
GALAHAD: Is there someone else up there we could talk to?
GALAHAD: C'è qualcun altro lassù potremmo parlare?
GUARD: No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time-a!
GUARDIA: No, ora vado via o io schernire una seconda volta-a!
ARTHUR: Now, this is your last chance. I've been more than
ARTHUR: Ora, questa è la tua ultima possibilità. Sono stato più di
reasonable.
ragionevole.
GUARD: (Fetch-e la vache.) wha?
GUARDIA: (Fetch-e La Vache.) Wha?
GUARD: (Fetch-e la vache!)
GUARDIA: (! Fetch-e la vache)
[moo!]
[muggire!]
ARTHUR: If you do not agree to my commands, then I shall--
ARTHUR: Se non accetti ai miei comandi, poi mi dovrà:
[twong]
[Twong]
[mooooooo]
[Mooooooo]
Jesus Christ! Right! Charge!
Gesù Cristo! Destra! Carica!
ALL: Charge!
ALL: Carica!
[mayhem]
[caos]
GUARD: Ah, this one is for your mother!
GUARDIA: Ah, questo è per tua madre!
[twong]
[Twong]
ALL: Run away!
ALL: Scappa!
GUARD: Thpppt!
GUARDIA: Thpppt!
[ after running away...]
[Dopo la fuga ...]
LAUNCELOT: Fiends! I'll tear them apart!
LANCILLOTTO: Fiends! Io farli a pezzi!
ARTHUR: No no, no.
ARTHUR: No no, no.
BEDEMIR: Sir! I have a plan, sir.
BEDEMIR: Sir! Ho un piano, signore.
[later]
[dopo]
[chop]
[Chop]
[rumble rumble squeak]
[Cigolio rumble rumble]
MUTTERING GUARDS: ce labon a bunny do wha? un codoo?
Borbottando GUARDIE: ce Labon un coniglietto fare wha? un codoo?
a present! oh, un codoo. oui oui hurry! wha-? let's
un regalo! oh, un codoo. oui oui fretta! Cos? facciamo
go!
andare!
[rumble rumble squeak]
[Cigolio rumble rumble]
ARTHUR: What happens now?
ARTHUR: Cosa succede ora?
BEDEMIR: Well, now, uh, Launcelot, Galahad, and I, wait until
BEDEMIR: Bene, ora, uh, Lancillotto, Galahad, e io, attendere
nightfall, and then leap out of the rabbit, taking the French by
calar della notte, e poi saltare fuori il coniglio, prendendo il Francese,
surprise -- not only by surprise, but totally unarmed!
sorpresa - non solo di sorpresa, ma del tutto inerme!
ARTHUR: Who leaps out?
ARTHUR: chi salta fuori?
BEDEMIR: Uh, Launcelot, Galahad, and I. Uh, leap out of the
BEDEMIR: Uh, Lancillotto, Galahad, e I. Uh, saltano fuori dal
rabbit, uh and uh....
coniglio, uh e uh ....
ARTHUR: Oh....
ARTHUR: Oh ....
BEDEMIR: Oh.... Um, l-look, if we built this large wooden
BEDEMIR: Oh .... Um, l-look, se abbiamo costruito questa grande pagina di legno
badger--
tasso--
[twong]
[Twong]
ALL: Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away!
ALL: Scappa! Scappa! Scappa! Scappa!
[splat]
[Splat]
GUARDS: Oh, haw haw haw.
GUARDIE: Oh, Haw Haw Haw.
Scene 9
Scene 9
Pictures for Schools, take 8.
Immagini per le scuole, prendono 8.
DIRECTOR: Action!
REGISTA: Azione!
NARRATOR: Defeat at the castle seems to have utterly disheartened
NARRATORE: Sconfitta al castello sembra avere totalmente sfiduciati
King Arthur. The ferocity of the French taunting took him
Re Artù. La ferocia del scherno francese lo ha preso
completely by surprise, and Arthur became convinced that a new
completamente di sorpresa, e Arthur si convinse che una nuova
strategy was required if the quest for the Holy Grail were to be
strategia è stata necessaria se la ricerca del Santo Graal dovesse essere
brought to a successful conclusion. Arthur, having consulted his
ha portato a termine con successo. Arthur, dopo aver consultato il suo
closest knights, decided that they should separate, and search for
cavalieri più vicini, ha deciso che devono separare, e la ricerca di
the Grail individually. Now, this is what they did--
il Graal individualmente. Ora, questo è quello che did--
[clop clop]
[Clop clop]
[An unknown knight rides in and stabs the narrator]
[Un cavaliere sconosciuto cavalca e trafigge il narratore]
WOMAN: Greg!
DONNA: Greg!
Scene 10
Scene 10
NARRATOR: The Tale of Sir Robin.... So each of the knights
NARRATORE: Il racconto di Sir Robin .... Così ciascuno dei cavalieri
went their separate ways. Sir Robin rode north, through the dark
presero strade separate. Sir Robin ha guidato a nord, attraverso il buio
forest of Ewing, accompanied by his favorite minstrels.
foresta di Ewing, accompagnato dai suoi menestrelli preferiti.
MINSTREL (singing):
MINSTREL (canto):
Bravely bold Sir Robin, rode forth from Camelot.
Coraggiosamente grassetto Sir Robin, ha guidato via da Camelot.
He was not afraid to die, o Brave Sir Robin.
Non aveva paura di morire, o coraggioso Sir Robin.
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways.
Egli non era affatto paura di essere uccisi in modi sgradevoli.
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin!
Coraggioso, coraggioso, coraggioso, coraggioso Sir Robin!
He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp,
Non era minimamente paura di essere schiacciato in una polpa,
Or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken.
O di aver gli occhi cavati, e gomiti rotti.
To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away,
Per avere la sua rotule spaccato, e il suo corpo bruciato,
And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin!
E le sue membra tutte infettate e straziati, coraggioso Sir Robin!
His head smashed in and his heart cut out,
La sua testa fracassata e il suo cuore tagliato,
And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged,
E il suo fegato rimosso e le sue viscere scollegato,
And his nostrils ripped and his bottom burned off,
E narici strappate e il suo fondo bruciate,
And his balls...
E le palle ...
ROBIN: That's -- that's, uh, that's enough music for now, lads.
ROBIN: Questo è - che è, uh, che è abbastanza musica per ora, ragazzi.
Looks like there's dirty work afoot.
Sembra che ci sia lavoro sporco a piedi.
DENNIS: Anarcho-syndicalism is a way of preserving freedom.
DENNIS: l'anarco-sindacalismo è un modo per preservare la libertà.
WOMAN: Oh, Dennis, forget about freedom. Now I've dropped my
DONNA: Oh, Dennis, dimenticare la libertà. Ora ho abbandonato il mio
mud.
fango.
ALL HEADS: Halt! Who art thou?
TUTTE LE TESTE: Halt! Chi sei tu?
MINSTREL (singing): He is brave Sir Robin, brave Sir Robin, who--
MINSTREL (canto): Egli è coraggioso Sir Robin, coraggioso Sir Robin, who--
ROBIN: Shut up! Um, n-n-nobody really, I'm j-just um, just
ROBIN: Taci! Um, n-n-nessuno in realtà, sono solo j-um, solo
passing through.
Passare attraverso.
ALL HEADS: What do you want?
TUTTE LE TESTE: Cosa vuoi?
MINSTREL (singing): To fight, and--
MINSTREL (canto): Per combattere, e-
ROBIN: Shut up! Um, oo, n-nothing, nothing really -- I, uh,
ROBIN: Taci! Um, oo, n-nulla, nulla di veramente - Io, uh,
j-j-ust to um, just to p-pass through good Sir knight.
-Passare p j-j-UST di um, solo per attraverso una buona cavaliere Sir.
ALL HEADS: I'm afraid not!
TUTTE LE TESTE: Temo di no!
ROBIN: Ah. W-well, actually I am a Knight of the Round Table.
ROBIN: Ah. W-bene, in realtà io sono un cavaliere della Tavola Rotonda.
ALL HEADS: You're a Knight of the Round Table?
TUTTE LE TESTE: Sei un cavaliere della Tavola Rotonda?
ROBIN: I am.
ROBIN: Io sono.
LEFT HEAD: In that case I shall have to kill you.
TESTA A SINISTRA: In tal caso dovrò ucciderti.
MIDDLE HEAD: Shall I?
TESTA MEDIO: va bene?
RIGHT HEAD: Oh, I don't think so.
Andate a destra: Oh, io non la penso così.
MIDDLE HEAD: Well, what do I think?
HEAD MIDDLE: Bene, cosa ne penso?
LEFT HEAD: I think kill him.
TESTA A SINISTRA: Credo che ucciderlo.
RIGHT HEAD: Well let's be nice to him.
Andate a destra: Bene cerchiamo di essere gentile con lui.
MIDDLE HEAD: Oh shut up.
TESTA MEDIO: Oh zitto.
LEFT HEAD: Perhaps-
TESTA A SINISTRA: Perhaps-
MIDDLE HEAD: And you.
TESTA MEDIO: E voi.
LEFT HEAD: Oh quick get the sword out I want to cut his head off!
TESTA A SINISTRA: Oh rapido ottenere la spada voglio tagliare la testa!
RIGHT HEAD: Oh, cut your own head off!
Andate a destra: Oh, tagliare il proprio testa!
MIDDLE HEAD: Yes, do us all a favor!
HEAD MIDDLE: Sì, farci un favore a tutti!
LEFT HEAD: What?
Andate a sinistra: Cosa?
RIGHT HEAD: Yapping on all the time.
Andate a destra: Yapping su tutto il tempo.
MIDDLE HEAD: You're lucky, you're not next to him.
HEAD MIDDLE: Sei fortunato, non sei accanto a lui.
LEFT HEAD: What do you mean?
TESTA A SINISTRA: Che vuoi dire?
MIDDLE HEAD: You snore.
HEAD MIDDLE: russare.
LEFT HEAD: Oh I don't -- anyway, you've got bad breath.
TESTA A SINISTRA: Oh io non - in ogni caso, hai l'alito cattivo.
MIDDLE HEAD: Well its only because you don't brush my teeth.
TESTA MEDIO: Bene il suo solo perché non lavarmi i denti.
RIGHT HEAD: Oh stop bitching and let's go have tea.
Andate a destra: Oh interrompere bitching e andiamo prendere il tè.
LEFT HEAD: All right all right all right we'll kill him first
SINISTRA TESTA: Va bene va bene va bene dovremo ucciderlo prima
and then have tea and biscuits.
e poi prendere il tè e biscotti.
MIDDLE HEAD: Yes.
TESTA MEDIO: Sì.
RIGHT HEAD: Oh, but not biscuits.
Andate a destra: Oh, ma non biscotti.
LEFT HEAD: All right all right not biscuits, but lets kill him
TESTA A SINISTRA: Va bene va bene non biscotti, ma permette di ucciderlo
anyway.
comunque.
ALL HEADS: Right!
TUTTE LE TESTE: Giusto!
LEFT HEAD: He buggered off.
Andate a sinistra: Egli inculare off.
RIGHT HEAD: So he has, he's scarpered.
Andate a destra: Così egli ha, ha scarpered.
MINSTREL (singing): Brave Sir Robin ran away
MINSTREL (canto): coraggioso Sir Robin scappato
ROBIN: No!
ROBIN: No!
MINSTREL (singing): Bravely ran away away
MINSTREL (canto): Coraggiosamente scappato via
ROBIN: I didn't!
ROBIN: Non l'ho fatto!
MINSTREL (singing): When danger reared its ugly head,
MINSTREL (canto): Quando il pericolo capolino,
He bravely turned his tail and fled
Ha coraggiosamente girato la coda e fuggì
ROBIN: No!
ROBIN: No!
MINSTREL (singing): Yes Brave Sir Robin turned about
MINSTREL (canto): Sì coraggioso Sir Robin si voltò
ROBIN: I didn't!
ROBIN: Non l'ho fatto!
MINSTREL (singing): And gallantly he chickened out
MINSTREL (canto): E galantemente egli chickened fuori
Bravely taking to his feet
Coraggiosamente prendendo in piedi
ROBIN: I never did!
ROBIN: Non ho mai fatto!
MINSTREL (singing): He beat a very brave retreat
MINSTREL (canto): Ha battuto una ritirata molto coraggioso
ROBIN: Oh, lie!
ROBIN: Oh, si trovano!
MINSTREL (singing): Bravest of the brave Sir Robin
MINSTREL (canto): coraggioso dei coraggiosi Sir Robin
ROBIN: I never!
ROBIN: Non ho mai!
Scene 11
Scene 11
NARRATOR: The Tale of Sir Galahad
NARRATORE: The Tale of Sir Galahad
[boom crash]
[Incidente asta]
[angels singing]
[Cantando angeli]
[pound pound pound]
[Libbra libbra libbra]
GALAHAD: Open the door! Open the door!
GALAHAD: Aprire la porta! Apri la porta!
[pound pound pound]
[Libbra libbra libbra]
In the name of King Arthur, open the door!
In nome di Re Artù, aprire la porta!
[squeak thump]
[Tonfo squittio]
[squeak boom]
[Boom di squittio]
ALL: Hello!
TUTTI: Ciao!
ZOOT: Welcome gentle Sir knight, welcome to the Castle Anthrax.
ZOOT: Benvenuto dolce cavaliere Sir, benvenuto al Castello Anthrax.
GALAHAD: The Castle Anthrax?
GALAHAD: Il Castello Anthrax?
ZOOT: Yes... oh, it's not a very good name is it? Oh! but we are
ZOOT: Sì ... oh, non è un nome molto buono è? Oh! ma siamo
nice and we shall attend to your every, every need!
bello e noi partecipare ad ogni vostra, ogni esigenza!
GALAHAD: You are the keepers of the Holy Grail?
GALAHAD: Voi siete i custodi del Santo Graal?
ZOOT: The what?
ZOOT: Che cosa?
GALAHAD: The Grail -- it is here?
GALAHAD: Il Graal - è qui?
ZOOT: Oh, but you are tired, and you must rest awhile. Midget!
ZOOT: Oh, ma sei stanco, e si deve riposare un po '. Nano!
Crepper!
Crepper!
MIDGET and CREPPER: Yes, oh Zoot!
MIDGET e CREPPER: Sì, oh Zoot!
ZOOT: Prepare a bed for our guest.
ZOOT: preparare un letto per i nostri ospiti.
MIDGET and CREPPER: Oh thank you thank you thank you--
MIDGET e CREPPER: Oh grazie grazie grazie you--
ZOOT: Away away vile peasents! The beds here are warm and soft
ZOOT: Via via peasents vili! I letti qui sono caldi e morbidi
- -- and very, very big.
- - E molto, molto grande.
GALAHAD: Well, look, I-I-uh--
GALAHAD: Beh, guarda, io-io-uh
ZOOT: What is your name, handsome knight?
ZOOT: Qual è il tuo nome, bel cavaliere?
GALAHAD: Sir Galahad... the Chaste.
GALAHAD: Sir Galahad ... il Casto.
ZOOT: Mine is Zoot... just Zoot. Oh, but come!
ZOOT: Il mio è Zoot ... solo Zoot. Oh, ma dai!
GALAHAD: Look, please! In God's name, show me the Grail!
GALAHAD: Senti, per favore! In nome di Dio, fammi vedere il Graal!
ZOOT: Oh, you have suffered much! You are delirious!
ZOOT: Oh, hai sofferto molto! Sei in delirio!
GALAHAD: L-look, I have seen it! It is here, in the--
GALAHAD: L-sguardo, ho visto! E 'qui, in il--
ZOOT: Sir Galahad! You would not be so ungallant as to refuse
ZOOT: Sir Galahad! Non sarebbe così poco galante da rifiutare
our hospitality.
la nostra ospitalità.
GALAHAD: Well, I-I-uh--
GALAHAD: Beh, io-io-uh
ZOOT: Oh, I am afraid our life must seem very dull and quiet
ZOOT: Oh, temo la nostra vita deve sembrare molto noiosa e tranquilla
compared to yours. We are but eight score young blondes and
rispetto alla tua. Siamo ma otto segnare giovani bionde e
brunettes, all between sixteen and nineteen and a half, cut off in
brune, tutti tra i sedici ei diciannove anni e mezzo, tagliata in
this castle with no one to protect us! Oh, it is a lonely life --
questo castello con nessuno a proteggerci! Oh, è una vita solitaria -
bathing, dressing, undressing, making exciting underwear.... We
lavarsi, vestirsi, svestirsi, rendendo biancheria intima emozionante .... Noi
are just not used to handsome knights. Nay, nay, come, come, you
non sono solo utilizzati per cavalieri bello. No, no, vieni, vieni, te
may lie here. Oh, but you are wounded!
potrebbe trovarsi qui. Oh, ma sei ferito!
GALAHAD: No, no -- i-it's nothing!
GALAHAD: No, no - i-non è niente!
ZOOT: Oh, but you must see the doctors immediately! No, no,
ZOOT: Oh, ma si deve vedere i dottori subito! No, no,
please, lie down.
per favore, sdraiarsi.
[clap clap]
[Clap clap]
PIGLET: Ah. What seems to be the trouble?
PORCELLINO: Ah. Ciò che sembra essere il problema?
GALAHAD: They're doctors?!
GALAHAD: Sono medici ?!
ZOOT: Uh, they've had a basic medical training, yes.
ZOOT: Uh, hanno avuto un formazione medica di base, sì.
GALAHAD: B-but--
GALAHAD: B-ma--
ZOOT: Oh, come come, you must try to rest! Doctor Piglet,
ZOOT: Oh, vieni vieni, si deve cercare di riposare! Dottore Piglet,
Doctor Winston, practice your art.
Medico Winston, praticare la tua arte.
PIGLET: Try to relax.
PORCELLINO: Cercate di rilassarvi.
GALAHAD: Are you sure that's necessary?
GALAHAD: Sei sicuro che è necessario?
PIGLET: We must examine you.
PORCELLINO: Dobbiamo esaminare voi.
GALAHAD: There's nothing wrong with that!
GALAHAD: Non c'è niente di sbagliato in questo!
PIGLET: Please -- we are doctors.
PORCELLINO: Si prega - siamo medici.
GALAHAD: Get off the bed! I am sworn to chastity!
GALAHAD: alzarsi dal letto! Ho giurato di castità!
PIGLET: Back to your bed!
PORCELLINO: Torna al tuo letto!
GALAHAD: Torment me no longer! I have seen the Grail!
GALAHAD: mi tormento non è più! Ho visto il Graal!
PIGLET: There's no grail here.
PORCELLINO: Non c'è Graal qui.
GALAHAD: I have seen it, I have seen it. I have seen--
GALAHAD: Ho visto, ho visto. Ho visto--
GIRLS: Hello.
RAGAZZE: Ciao.
GALAHAD: Oh--
GALAHAD: Oh--
VARIOUS GIRLS: Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.
GIRLS VARIE: Ciao. Ciao. Ciao. Ciao. Ciao.
Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.
Ciao. Ciao. Ciao. Ciao. Ciao. Ciao.
Hello.
Ciao.
GALAHAD: Zoot!
GALAHAD: Zoot!
DINGO: No, I am Zoot's identical twin sister, Dingo.
DINGO: No, io sono identici sorella gemella di Zoot, Dingo.
GALAHAD: Oh, well, excuse me, I--
GALAHAD: Oh, beh, mi scusi, I--
DINGO: Where are you going?
DINGO: Dove stai andando?
GALAHAD: I seek the Grail! I have seen it, here in this castle!
GALAHAD: io cerco il Graal! L'ho visto, qui, in questo castello!
DINGO: No! Oh, no! Bad, bad Zoot!
DINGO: No! Oh, no! Bad, Bad Zoot!
GALAHAD: What is it?
GALAHAD: Che cosa è?
DINGO: Oh, wicked, bad, naughty Zoot! She has been setting
DINGO: Oh, cattivo, cattivo, Zoot cattivo! E 'stata l'impostazione
alight to our beacon, which, I just remembered, is grail-shaped.
scendere al nostro faro, che, ho appena ricordato, è a forma di Graal.
It's not the first time we've had this problem.
Non è la prima volta che abbiamo avuto questo problema.
GALAHAD: It's not the real Grail?
GALAHAD: Non è il vero Graal?
DINGO: Oh, wicked, bad, naughty, evil Zoot! Oh, she is a naughty
DINGO: Oh, cattivo, cattivo, cattivo, Zoot il male! Oh, lei è un cattivo
person, and she must pay the penalty -- and here in Castle
persona, e lei deve pagare la pena - e qui a Castello
Anthrax, we have but one punishment for setting alight the
Antrace, ma abbiamo una punizione per l'impostazione accesa la
grail-shaped beacon. You must tie her down on a bed and spank her!
A forma di faro graal. È necessario legarla in giù su un letto e la sculacciare!
GIRLS: A spanking! A spanking!
RAGAZZE: una sculacciata! Una sculacciata!
DINGO: You must spank her well. And after you have spanked her,
DINGO: È necessario il suo sculacciare bene. E dopo che l'hai fatto vedere,
you may deal with her as you like. And then, spank me.
si può trattare con lei come ti piace. E poi, mi sculacciare.
VARIOUS GIRLS: And spank me. And me. And me.
GIRLS VARIE: E mi sculacciare. E io. E io.
DINGO: Yes, yes, you must give us all a good spanking!
DINGO: Sì, sì, è necessario dare a tutti noi una bella sculacciata!
GIRLS: A spanking! A spanking!
RAGAZZE: una sculacciata! Una sculacciata!
DINGO: And after the spanking, the oral sex.
DINGO: E dopo la sculacciata, il sesso orale.
GIRLS: Oral sex! Oral sex!
RAGAZZE: il sesso orale! il sesso orale!
GALAHAD: Well, I could stay a BIT longer.
GALAHAD: Beh, ho potuto stare un po 'più a lungo.
LAUNCELOT: Sir Galahad!
LANCILLOTTO: Sir Galahad!
GALAHAD: Oh, hello.
GALAHAD: Oh, ciao.
LAUNCELOT: Quick!
LANCILLOTTO: Veloce!
GALAHAD: What?
GALAHAD: Cosa?
LAUNCELOT: Quick!
LANCILLOTTO: Veloce!
GALAHAD: Why?
GALAHAD: Perché?
LAUNCELOT: You're in great peril!
LANCILLOTTO: Sei in grave pericolo!
GALAHAD:
GALAHAD:
ZOOT:
ZOOT:
LAUNCELOT: Silence, foul temptress!
LANCILLOTTO: Silenzio, tentatrice fallo!
GALAHAD: Now look, it's not important.
GALAHAD: Ora guarda, non è importante.
LAUNCELOT: Quick! Come on and we'll cover your escape!
LANCILLOTTO: Veloce! Vieni e vedremo la tua fuga!
GALAHAD: Look, I'm fine!
GALAHAD: Guarda, sto bene!
LAUNCELOT: Come on!
LANCILLOTTO: Andiamo!
GALAHAD: Now look, I can tackle this lot single-handed!
GALAHAD: Ora guardate, posso affrontare questo lotto con una sola mano!
DINGO: Yes! Let him tackle us single-handed!
DINGO: Sì! Lascialo affrontare noi con una sola mano!
GIRLS: Yes! Tackle us single-handed!
RAGAZZE: Sì! noi affrontare con una mano sola!
LAUNCELOT: No, Sir Galahad, come on!
LANCILLOTTO: No, Sir Galahad, andiamo!
GALAHAD: No, really, honestly, I can go back and handle this lot
GALAHAD: No, davvero, onestamente, non posso tornare indietro e gestire questo lotto
easily!
facilmente!
DINGO: Oh, yes, let him handle us easily.
DINGO: Oh, sì, lo lasciò a noi gestire facilmente.
GIRLS: Yes, yes!
RAGAZZE: Sì, sì!
GALAHAD: Wait! I can defeat them! There's only a hundred and
GALAHAD: Aspetta! Posso sconfiggere! C'è solo un centinaio e
fifty of them!
una cinquantina di loro!
DINGO: Yes, yes, he'll beat us easily, we haven't a chance.
DINGO: Sì, sì, che sarà lui a batterci facilmente, non abbiamo una possibilità.
GIRLS: Yes, yes.
RAGAZZE: Sì, sì.
[boom]
[boom]
DINGO: Oh, shit.
DINGO: Oh, merda.
[outside]
[al di fuori]
LAUNCELOT: We were in the nick of time, you were in great peril.
LANCILLOTTO: Eravamo appena in tempo, si trovavano in grave pericolo.
GALAHAD: I don't think I was.
GALAHAD: Non penso che ero.
LAUNCELOT: Yes you were, you were in terrible peril.
LANCILLOTTO: Sì eri, sei stato in un terribile pericolo.
GALAHAD: Look, let me go back in there and face the peril.
GALAHAD: Senti, mi permetta di tornare in là e affrontare il pericolo.
LAUNCELOT: No, it's too perilous.
LANCILLOTTO: No, è troppo pericoloso.
GALAHAD: Look, [something] as much peril as I can.
GALAHAD: Senti, [qualcosa] tanto pericolo che posso.
LAUNCELOT: No, we've got to find the Holy Grail. Come on!
LANCILLOTTO: No, abbiamo avuto modo di trovare il Santo Graal. Dai!
GALAHAD: Well, let me have just a little bit of peril?
GALAHAD: Beh, mi permetta di avere solo un po 'di pericolo?
LAUNCELOT: No, it's unhealthy.
LANCILLOTTO: No, è malsano.
GALAHAD: Bet you're gay!
GALAHAD: Scommetto che sei gay!
LAUNCELOT: No, I'm not.
LANCILLOTTO: No, non lo sono.
Narrative Interlude
narrative Interlude
NARRATOR: Sir Launcelot had saved Sir Galahad from almost certain
NARRATORE: Sir Lancillotto aveva salvato Sir Galahad da quasi certo
temptation, but they were still no nearer the Grail. Meanwhile,
tentazione, ma erano ancora più vicino al Graal. Nel frattempo,
King Arthur and Sir Bedemir, not more than a swallow's flight
Re Artù e Sir Bedemir, non la fuga di più di una rondine
away, had discovered something. Oh, that's an unladen swallow's
via, aveva scoperto qualcosa. Oh, questo è un vuoto di rondine
flight, obviously. I mean, they were more than two laden swallow's
volo, ovviamente. Voglio dire, erano più di due carichi di rondine di
flights away -- four, really, if they hadn't a cord of line between
voli di distanza - quattro, in realtà, se non avessero un cavo di linea tra
them. I mean, if the birds were walking and dragging--
loro. Voglio dire, se gli uccelli erano a piedi e dragging--
CROWD: Get on with it!
FOLLA: Andare avanti con lui!
NARRATOR: Oh, anyway, on to scene twenty-four, which is a
NARRATORE: Oh, in ogni caso, a scene ventiquattro, che è un
smashing scene with some lovely acting, in which Arthur discovers
smashing scena con alcune belle recitazione, in cui Arthur scopre
a vital clue, in which there aren't any swallows, although I think
un indizio vitale, in cui non ci sono rondini, anche se penso che
you can hear a starling -oolp!
si può sentire un -oolp storno!
Scene 12
Scene 12
OLD MAN: Ah, hee he he ha!
VECCHIO: Ah, hee he he ha!
ARTHUR: And this enchanter of whom you speak, he has seen the
ARTHUR: E questo incantatore di cui si parla, che ha visto la
grail?
Graal?
OLD MAN: Ha ha he he he he!
VECCHIO: Ah ah he he he he!
ARTHUR: Where does he live? Old man, where does he live?
ARTHUR: Dove abita? Il vecchio, dove vive?
OLD MAN: He knows of a cave, a cave which no man has entered.
VECCHIO: Egli sa di una grotta, una grotta che nessuno è entrato.
ARTHUR: And the Grail... The Grail is there?
ARTHUR: E il Graal ... Il Graal è lì?
OLD MAN: Very much danger, for beyond the cave lies the Gorge
VECCHIO: Molto pericolo, per oltre la grotta si trova la gola
of Eternal Peril, which no man has ever crossed.
di Eternal Peril, che nessun uomo ha mai attraversato.
ARTHUR: But the Grail! Where is the Grail!?
ARTHUR: Ma il Graal! Dov'è il Graal !?
OLD MAN: Seek you the Bridge of Death.
VECCHIO: cercarti il Ponte della Morte.
ARTHUR: The Bridge of Death, which leads to the Grail?
ARTHUR: Il ponte della morte, che porta al Graal?
OLD MAN: Hee hee ha ha!
VECCHIO: Ih ih ah ah!
Scene 13
Scene 13
HEAD KNIGHT: Nee! Nee! Nee! Nee!
TESTA CAVALIERE: No! Nata! Nata! Nata!
ARTHUR: Who are you?
ARTHUR: Chi sei?
HEAD KNIGHT: We are the Knights Who Say... Nee!
TESTA CAVALIERE: Siamo i Knights Who Say ... Nee!
ARTHUR: No! Not the Knights Who Say Nee!
ARTHUR: No! Non i Knights Who Say No!
HEAD KNIGHT: The same!
TESTA CAVALIERE: lo stesso!
BEDEMIR: Who are they?
BEDEMIR: Chi sono?
HEAD KNIGHT: We are the keepers of the sacred words: Nee, Pang,
TESTA CAVALIERE: Siamo i custodi delle parole sacre: No, Pang,
and Nee-wom!
e Nee-wom!
RANDOM: Nee-wom!
RANDOM: Nee-wom!
ARTHUR: Those who hear them seldom live to tell the tale!
ARTHUR: chi le ascolta raramente vivere per raccontare la storia!
HEAD KNIGHT: The Knights Who Say Nee demand a sacrifice!
TESTA CAVALIERE: The Knights Who Say No richiede un sacrificio!
ARTHUR: Knights of Nee, we are but simple travellers who seek the
ARTHUR: Knights of No, ma noi siamo semplici viaggiatori che cercano il
enchanter who lives beyond these woods.
incantatore che vive al di là di questi boschi.
HEAD KNIGHT: Nee! Nee! Nee! Nee!
TESTA CAVALIERE: No! Nata! Nata! Nata!
ARTHUR and PARTY: Oh, ow!
ARTHUR e di partito: Oh, ow!
HEAD KNIGHT: We shall say 'nee' again to you if you do not
TESTA CAVALIERE: diremo 'nee' di nuovo a voi se non lo fai
appease us.
placare noi.
ARTHUR: Well, what is it you want?
ARTHUR: Bene, che cos'è che vuoi?
HEAD KNIGHT: We want... a shrubbery!
TESTA CAVALIERE: Vogliamo ... un arbusti!
[dramatic chord]
[Corda drammatica]
ARTHUR: A what?
ARTHUR: A che cosa?
HEAD KNIGHT: Nee! Nee!
TESTA CAVALIERE: No! Nata!
ARTHUR and PARTY: Oh, ow!
ARTHUR e di partito: Oh, ow!
ARTHUR: Please, please! No more! We shall find a shrubbery.
ARTHUR: favore, per favore! Non piu! Troveremo un boschetto.
HEAD KNIGHT: You must return here with a shrubbery or else you
TESTA CAVALIERE: Devi tornare qui con un arbusti altrimenti si
will never pass through this wood alive!
non potrà mai passare attraverso questo legno vivo!
ARTHUR: O Knights of Nee, you are just and fair, and we will
ARTHUR: O Cavalieri di Nee, si sono giusto ed equo, e noi
return with a shrubbery.
tornare con un arbusti.
HEAD KNIGHT: One that looks nice.
TESTA CAVALIERE: Uno che sembra piacevole.
ARTHUR: Of course.
ARTHUR: Certo.
HEAD KNIGHT: And not too expensive.
TESTA CAVALIERE: e non troppo costoso.
ARTHUR: Yes.
ARTHUR: Sì.
HEAD KNIGHTS: Now... go!
TESTA CAVALIERI: Ora ... vai!
Scene 14
Scene 14
NARRATOR: The Tale of Sir Launcelot.
NARRATORE: Il racconto di Sir Lancillotto.
FATHER: One day, lad, all this will be yours!
PADRE: Un giorno, ragazzo, tutto questo sarà tuo!
HERBERT: What, the curtains?
HERBERT: Che cosa, le tende?
FATHER: No, not the curtains, lad. All that you can see!
PADRE: No, non è il tende, ragazzo. Tutto ciò che si può vedere!
Stretched out over the hills and valleys of this land! This'll be
Disteso sulle colline e le valli di questa terra! Questo sarà
your kingdom, lad!
il tuo regno, ragazzo!
HERBERT: But, Mother--
HERBERT: Ma, Mother--
FATHER: Father, I'm Father.
PADRE: Padre, io sono padre.
HERBERT: But Father, I don't want any of that.
HERBERT: Ma padre, non voglio nulla di tutto ciò.
FATHER: Listen, lad. I've built this kingdom up from nothing.
PADRE: Senti, ragazzo. Ho costruito questo regno dal nulla.
When I started here, all there was was swamp. The king said I was
Quando ho iniziato qui, tutto quello che c'era era palude. Il re ha detto che ero
daft to build a castle in a swamp, but I built it all the same,
daft di costruire un castello in una palude, ma ho costruito tutto lo stesso,
just to show 'em. It sank into the swamp. So, I built a second
solo per mostrare 'em. Affondò nella palude. Così, ho costruito un secondo
one. That sank into the swamp. So I built a third one. That
uno. Che affondò nella palude. Così ho costruito un terzo. Quella
burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the fourth
bruciato, cadde, poi affondò nella palude. Ma il quarto
one stayed up. An' that's what your gonna get, lad -- the strongest
uno rimasto in piedi. Un 'questo è ciò che la tua gonna ottenere, ragazzo - il più forte
castle in these islands.
castello di queste isole.
HERBERT: But I don't want any of that -- I'd rather--
HERBERT: Ma io non voglio niente di tutto questo - mi piacerebbe rather--
FATHER: Rather what?!
PADRE: Piuttosto che cosa ?!
HERBERT: I'd rather... just... [music] ...sing!
HERBERT: Preferirei ... solo ... [musica] ... cantare!
FATHER: Stop that, stop that! You're not going to do a song
PADRE: Smettila, smettila! Non hai intenzione di fare una canzone
while I'm here. Now listen lad, in twenty minutes you're getting
mentre io sono qui. Ora ascolta ragazzo, in venti minuti che stai ricevendo
married to a girl whose father owns the biggest tracts of open land
sposato con una ragazza il cui padre possiede la più grande appezzamenti di terreno aperto
in Britain.
in Gran Bretagna.
HERBERT: But I don't want land.
HERBERT: Ma io non voglio terreno.
FATHER: Listen, Alice...
PADRE: Ascolta, Alice ...
HERBERT: Herbert.
HERBERT: Herbert.
FATHER: Herbert. We live in a bloody swamp. We need all the
PADRE: Herbert. Viviamo in una palude di sangue. Abbiamo bisogno di tutto il
land we can get.
terreni che possiamo ottenere.
HERBERT: But I don't like her.
HERBERT: Ma non mi piace il suo.
FATHER: Don't like her?! What's wrong with her? She's
PADRE: Non come lei ?! Cosa c'è che non va con lei? E '
beautiful, she's rich, she's got huge... tracts of land.
bella, lei è ricca, lei ha enorme ... appezzamenti di terreno.
HERBERT: I know, but I want the girl that I marry to have...
HERBERT: Lo so, ma voglio la ragazza che mi sposarsi per avere ...
a certain... special... [music] ...something...
un certo ... speciale ... [musica] ... qualcosa ...
FATHER: Cut that out, cut that out. Look, you're marryin'
PADRE: Taglio che fuori, tagliare che fuori. Guarda, si sta sposando
Princess Looky, so you'd better get used to the idea. [smack]
Principessa Looky, quindi è meglio abituarsi all'idea. [Schiaffo]
Guards! Make sure the Prince doesn't leave this room until I come
Guardie! Assicurarsi che il principe non lascia questa stanza finché io venga
and get 'im.
e ottenere 'im.
GUARD #1: Not to leave the room even if you come and get him.
GUARDIA # 1: Per non lasciare la stanza, anche se vieni a prenderlo.
GUARD #2: Hic!
GUARDIA # 2: Hic!
FATHER: No, no. Until I come and get 'im.
PADRE: No, no. Fino a quando vengo e ottenere 'im.
GUARD #1: Until you come and get him, we're not to enter the
GUARDIA # 1: fino ad arrivare a prenderlo, non siamo ad entrare nel
room.
camera.
FATHER: No, no, no. You stay in the room and make sure 'e
PADRE: No, no, no. Potrete soggiornare in camera e assicurarsi che 'e
doesn't leave.
non lascia.
GUARD #1: And you'll come and get him.
GUARDIA # 1: E si arriva a prenderlo.
GUARD #2: Hic!
GUARDIA # 2: Hic!
FATHER: Right.
PADRE: Giusto.
GUARD #1: We don't need to do anything, apart from just stop him
GUARDIA # 1: Non abbiamo bisogno di fare nulla, a parte solo lui fermarsi
entering the room.
entrare nella stanza.
FATHER: No, no. Leaving the room.
PADRE: No, no. Lasciando la stanza.
GUARD #1: Leaving the room, yes.
GUARDIA # 1: Lasciando la stanza, sì.
FATHER: All right?
PADRE: Va bene?
GUARD #1: Right. Oh, if-if-if, uh, if-if-if, uh, if-if-if we...
GUARDIA # 1: Giusto. Oh, se-se-se, uh, se-se-se, uh, se-se-se ...
FATHER: Yes, what is it?
PADRE: Sì, che cosa è?
GUARD #1: Oh, if-if, oh--
GUARDIA # 1: Oh, se-se, oh--
FATHER: Look, it's quite simple.
PADRE: Guarda, è abbastanza semplice.
GUARD #1: Uh...
GUARDIA # 1: Uh ...
FATHER: You just stay here, and make sure 'e doesn't leave the
PADRE: Basta stare qui, e assicurarsi che 'e non lascia il
room. All right?
camera. Tutto ok?
GUARD #2: Hic!
GUARDIA # 2: Hic!
FATHER: Right.
PADRE: Giusto.
GUARD #1: Oh, I remember. Uh, can he leave the room with us?
GUARDIA # 1: Oh, mi ricordo. Uh, egli può lasciare la stanza con noi?
FATHER: N- No no no. You just keep him in here, and make sure--
PADRE: N- No no no. Basta tenerlo qui, e fare sure--
GUARD #1: Oh, yes, we'll keep him in here, obviously. But if he
GUARDIA # 1: Oh, sì, vi terremo lui in qui, ovviamente. Ma se lui
had to leave and we were--
dovuto lasciare e ci were--
FATHER: No, no, just keep him in here--
PADRE: No, no, basta tenerlo in qui--
GUARD #1: Until you, or anyone else,--
GUARDIA # 1: Fino a che, o chiunque altro, -
FATHER: No, not anyone else, just me--
PADRE: No, non chiunque altro, basta me--
GUARD #1: Just you.
GUARDIA # 1: Solo voi.
GUARD #2: Hic!
GUARDIA # 2: Hic!
FATHER: Get back.
PADRE: Get back.
GUARD #1: Get back.
GUARDIA # 1: Get back.
FATHER: Right?
PADRE: Giusto?
GUARD #1: Right, we'll stay here until you get back.
GUARDIA # 1: Destra, rimarremo qui fino a tornare.
FATHER: And, uh, make sure he doesn't leave.
PADRE: E, uh, assicurarsi che non lascia.
GUARD #1: What?
GUARDIA # 1: Cosa?
FATHER: Make sure 'e doesn't leave.
FATHER: Make sure 'e doesn't leave.
GUARD #1: The Prince?
GUARD #1: The Prince?
FATHER: Yes, make sure 'e doesn't leave.
FATHER: Yes, make sure 'e doesn't leave.
GUARD #1: Oh, yes, of course. I thought you meant him. Y'know,
GUARD #1: Oh, yes, of course. I thought you meant him. Y'know,
it seemed a bit daft, me havin' to guard him when he's a guard.
it seemed a bit daft, me having to guard him when he's a guard.
FATHER: Is that clear?
FATHER: Is that clear?
GUARD #2: Hic!
GUARD #2: Hic!
GUARD #1: Oh, quite clear, no problems.
GUARD #1: Oh, quite clear, no problems.
FATHER: Right.
FATHER: Right.
[starts to leave]
[starts to leave]
Where are you going?
Dove stai andando?
GUARD #1: We're coming with you.
GUARD #1: We're coming with you.
FATHER: No no, I want you to stay 'ere and make sure 'e doesn't
FATHER: No no, I want you to stay 'ere and make sure 'e doesn't
leave.
partire.
GUARD #1: Oh, I see. Right.
GUARD #1: Oh, I see. Destra.
HERBERT: But, Father!
HERBERT: But, Father!
FATHER: Shut your noise, you! And get that suit on! And no
FATHER: Shut your noise, you! And get that suit on! e nessuno
singing!
singing!
GUARD #2: Hic!
GUARD #2: Hic!
FATHER: Oh, go get a glass of water.
FATHER: Oh, go get a glass of water.
Scene 15
Scene 15
LAUNCELOT: Well taken, Concorde!
LAUNCELOT: Well taken, Concorde!
CONCORDE: Thank you, sir! Most kind.
CONCORDE: Thank you, sir! Most kind.
LAUNCELOT: And again... Over we go! Good. Steady! And now, the
LAUNCELOT: And again... Over we go! Buona. Costante! And now, the
big one...Ooof! Come on, Concorde!
big one...Ooof! Come on, Concorde!
[thwonk]
[thwonk]
CONCORDE: Message for you, sir.
CONCORDE: Message for you, sir.
[fwump]
[fwump]
LAUNCELOT: Concorde! Concorde, speak to me! To whoever finds
LAUNCELOT: Concorde! Concorde, speak to me! To whoever finds
this note, I have been imprisoned by my father, who wishes me to
this note, I have been imprisoned by my father, who wishes me to
marry against my will. Please, please, please come and rescue me.
marry against my will. Please, please, please come and rescue me.
I am in the tall tower of Swamp Castle. At last! A call, a cry
I am in the tall tower of Swamp Castle. Alla fine! A call, a cry
of distress! This could be the sign that leads us to the Holy
of distress! This could be the sign that leads us to the Holy
Grail! Brave, brave Concorde! You shall not have died in vain!
Grail! Brave, brave Concorde! You shall not have died in vain!
CONCORDE: Uh, I'm-I'm not quite dead, sir.
CONCORDE: Uh, I'm-I'm not quite dead, sir.
LAUNCELOT: Well, you shall not have been mortally wounded in
LAUNCELOT: Well, you shall not have been mortally wounded in
vain!
vain!
CONCORDE: Uh, I-I think uh, I could pull through, sir.
CONCORDE: Uh, I-I think uh, I could pull through, sir.
LAUNCELOT: Oh, I see.
LAUNCELOT: Oh, I see.
CONCORDE: Actually, I think I'm all right to come with you--
CONCORDE: Actually, I think I'm all right to come with you--
LAUNCELOT: No, no, sweet Concorde! Stay here! I will send help
LAUNCELOT: No, no, sweet Concorde! Stay here! I will send help
as soon as I have accomplished a daring and heroic rescue in my own
as soon as I have accomplished a daring and heroic rescue in my own
particular... (sigh)
particular... (sigh)
CONCORDE: Idiom, sir?
CONCORDE: Idiom, sir?
LAUNCELOT: Idiom!
LAUNCELOT: Idiom!
CONCORDE: No, I feel fine, actually, sir.
CONCORDE: No, I feel fine, actually, sir.
LAUNCELOT: Farewell, sweet Concorde!
LAUNCELOT: Farewell, sweet Concorde!
CONCORDE: I'll-uh, I'll just stay here, then, shall I, sir? Yeah.
CONCORDE: I'll-uh, I'll just stay here, then, shall I, sir? Sì.
Scene 16
Scene 16
LAUNCELOT: Ha-ha! etc.
LAUNCELOT: Ha-ha! eccetera.
GUARD #1: Now, you're not allowed to come in here, and we're-ugh!
GUARD #1: Now, you're not allowed to come in here, and we're-ugh!
LAUNCELOT: O fair one, behold your humble servant Sir Launcelot
LAUNCELOT: O fair one, behold your humble servant Sir Launcelot
of Camelot. I have come to take -- oh, I'm terribly sorry.
of Camelot. I have come to take -- oh, I'm terribly sorry.
HERBERT: You got my note!
HERBERT: You got my note!
LAUNCELOT: Uh, well, I got A note.
LAUNCELOT: Uh, well, I got A note.
HERBERT: You've come to rescue me!
HERBERT: You've come to rescue me!
LAUNCELOT: Uh, well, no, you see--
LAUNCELOT: Uh, well, no, you see--
HERBERT: I knew that someone would, I knew that somewhere out
HERBERT: I knew that someone would, I knew that somewhere out
there... there must be... [music] ...someone...
there... there must be... [music] ...someone...
FATHER: Stop that, stop that, stop it! Stop it! Who are you?
FATHER: Stop that, stop that, stop it! Smettila! Tu chi sei?
HERBERT: I'm your son!
HERBERT: I'm your son!
FATHER: No, not you.
FATHER: No, not you.
LAUNCELOT: I'm Sir Launcelot, sir.
LAUNCELOT: I'm Sir Launcelot, sir.
HERBERT: He's come to rescue me, father.
HERBERT: He's come to rescue me, father.
LAUNCELOT: Well, let's not jump to conclusions.
LAUNCELOT: Well, let's not jump to conclusions.
FATHER: Did you kill all the guard?
FATHER: Did you kill all the guard?
LAUNCELOT: Uh..., oh, yes. Sorry.
LAUNCELOT: Uh..., oh, yes. Scusate.
FATHER: They cost fifty pounds each.
FATHER: They cost fifty pounds each.
LAUNCELOT: Well, I'm awfully sorry, I'm -- I really can explain
LAUNCELOT: Well, I'm awfully sorry, I'm -- I really can explain
everything.
qualunque cosa.
HERBERT: Don't be afraid of him, Sir Launcelot, I've got a rope
HERBERT: Don't be afraid of him, Sir Launcelot, I've got a rope
all ready!
all ready!
FATHER: You killed eight wedding guests in all!
FATHER: You killed eight wedding guests in all!
LAUNCELOT: Well, you see, the thing is, I thought your son was a
LAUNCELOT: Well, you see, the thing is, I thought your son was a
lady.
signora.
FATHER: I can understand that.
FATHER: I can understand that.
HERBERT: Hurry, Sir Launcelot! Hurry!
HERBERT: Hurry, Sir Launcelot! Fretta!
FATHER: Shut up! You only killed the bride's father, that's all!
FATHER: Shut up! You only killed the bride's father, that's all!
LAUNCELOT: Well, I really didn't mean to...
LAUNCELOT: Well, I really didn't mean to...
FATHER: Didn't mean to?! You put your sword right through his
FATHER: Didn't mean to?! You put your sword right through his
head!
capo!
LAUNCELOT: Oh, dear. Is he all right?
LAUNCELOT: Oh, dear. Is he all right?
FATHER: You even kicked the bride in the chest! This is going to
FATHER: You even kicked the bride in the chest! Questo sta per
cost me a fortune!
cost me a fortune!
LAUNCELOT: Well, I can explain. I was in the forest, um, riding
LAUNCELOT: Well, I can explain. I was in the forest, um, riding
north from Camelot, when I got this note, you see--
north from Camelot, when I got this note, you see--
FATHER: Camelot? Are you from, uh, Camelot?
FATHER: Camelot? Are you from, uh, Camelot?
HERBERT: Hurry, Sir Launcelot!
HERBERT: Hurry, Sir Launcelot!
LAUNCELOT: Uh, I am a Knight of King Arthur, sir.
LAUNCELOT: Uh, I am a Knight of King Arthur, sir.
FATHER: Pretty nice castle, Camelot. Uh, pretty good pig
FATHER: Pretty nice castle, Camelot. Uh, pretty good pig
country....
country....
LAUNCELOT: Yes.
LAUNCELOT: Yes.
HERBERT: Hurry, I'm ready!
HERBERT: Hurry, I'm ready!
FATHER: Would you, uh, like to come and have a drink?
FATHER: Would you, uh, like to come and have a drink?
LAUNCELOT: Well, that's, uh, awfully nice of you.
LAUNCELOT: Well, that's, uh, awfully nice of you.
HERBERT: I am ready!
HERBERT: I am ready!
[start to leave]
[start to leave]
LAUNCELOT: --I mean to be, so understanding.
LAUNCELOT: --I mean to be, so understanding.
[thonk]
[thonk]
HERBERT: Oooh!
HERBERT: Oooh!
LAUNCELOT: Um, I think when I'm in this idiom, I sometimes get a
LAUNCELOT: Um, I think when I'm in this idiom, I sometimes get a
bit, uh, sort of carried away.
bit, uh, sort of carried away.
FATHER: Oh, don't worry about that.
FATHER: Oh, don't worry about that.
HERBERT: Oooh!
HERBERT: Oooh!
[splat]
[splat]
Scene 17
Scene 17
[wailing]
[wailing]
FATHER: Well, this is the main hall. We're going to have all
FATHER: Well, this is the main hall. We're going to have all
this knocked through, and made into one big, uh, living room.
this knocked through, and made into one big, uh, living room.
RANDOM: There he is!
RANDOM: There he is!
FATHER: Oh, bloody hell.
FATHER: Oh, bloody hell.
LAUNCELOT: Ha-ha! etc.
LAUNCELOT: Ha-ha! eccetera.
FATHER: Hold it, hold it! Please!
FATHER: Hold it, hold it! Per favore!
LAUNCELOT: Sorry, sorry. See what I mean, I just get carried
LAUNCELOT: Sorry, sorry. See what I mean, I just get carried
away. I really must -- sorry, sorry! Sorry, everyone.
lontano. I really must -- sorry, sorry! Sorry, everyone.
RANDOM: He's killed the best man!
RANDOM: He's killed the best man!
[yelling]
[Urlando]
FATHER: Hold it, please! Hold it! This is Sir Launcelot from
FATHER: Hold it, please! Aspetta! This is Sir Launcelot from
the gorge of Camelot -- a very brave and influential knight, and my
the gorge of Camelot -- a very brave and influential knight, and my
special guest here today.
special guest here today.
LAUNCELOT: Hello.
LAUNCELOT: Hello.
RANDOM: He killed my auntie!
RANDOM: He killed my auntie!
[yelling]
[Urlando]
FATHER: Please, please! This is supposed to be a happy occasion!
FATHER: Please, please! This is supposed to be a happy occasion!
Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who. We are here
Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who. We are here
today to witness the union of two young people in the joyful bond
today to witness the union of two young people in the joyful bond
of the holy wedlock. Unfortunately, one of them, my son Herbert,
of the holy wedlock. Unfortunately, one of them, my son Herbert,
has just fallen to his death. But I think I've not lost a son, so
has just fallen to his death. But I think I've not lost a son, so
much as... gained a daughter! For, since the tragic death of her
much as... gained a daughter! For, since the tragic death of her
father--
father--
RANDOM: He's not quite dead!
RANDOM: He's not quite dead!
FATHER: Since the near fatal wounding of her father--
FATHER: Since the near fatal wounding of her father--
RANDOM: He's getting better!
RANDOM: He's getting better!
FATHER: For, since her own father... who, when he seemed about to
FATHER: For, since her own father... who, when he seemed about to
recover, suddenly felt the icy hand of death upon him,--
recover, suddenly felt the icy hand of death upon him,--
[ugh]
[ugh]
RANDOM: Oh, he's died!
RANDOM: Oh, he's died!
FATHER: And I want his only daughter to look upon me... as her
FATHER: And I want his only daughter to look upon me... as her
own dad -- in a very real, and legally binding sense.
own dad -- in a very real, and legally binding sense.
[clapping]
[Applausi]
And I feel sure that the merger -- uh, the union -- between
And I feel sure that the merger -- uh, the union -- between
the Princess and the brave, but dangerous, Sir Launcelot of
the Princess and the brave, but dangerous, Sir Launcelot of
Camelot--
Camelot--
LAUNCELOT: What?
LAUNCELOT: What?
RANDOM: Look! The dead Prince!
RANDOM: Look! The dead Prince!
CONCORDE: He's not quite dead!
CONCORDE: He's not quite dead!
HERBERT: Oh, I feel much better.
HERBERT: Oh, I feel much better.
FATHER: You fell out of the cold tower, you creep!
FATHER: You fell out of the cold tower, you creep!
HERBERT: No, I was saved at the last minute.
HERBERT: No, I was saved at the last minute.
FATHER: How?!
FATHER: How?!
HERBERT: Well, I'll tell you... [music]
HERBERT: Well, I'll tell you... [music]
FATHER: Not like that! Not like that! No, stop it!
FATHER: Not like that! Not like that! No, stop it!
SINGING: He's going to tell! He's going to tell!
SINGING: He's going to tell! He's going to tell!
FATHER: Shut up!
FATHER: Shut up!
SINGING: He's going to tell! He's going to tell!
SINGING: He's going to tell! He's going to tell!
He's going to tell! He's going to tell!
He's going to tell! He's going to tell!
He's going to tell! He's going to tell!
He's going to tell! He's going to tell!
He's going to tell! He's going to tell!
He's going to tell! He's going to tell!
CONCORDE: Quickly, sir! This way!
CONCORDE: Quickly, sir! Per di qua!
LAUNCELOT: No, it's not in my idiom! I must escape in my own
LAUNCELOT: No, it's not in my idiom! I must escape in my own
particular....(sigh)
particular....(sigh)
CONCORDE: Dogma, sir?
CONCORDE: Dogma, sir?
LAUNCELOT: Dogma! Hee! Ha!
LAUNCELOT: Dogma! Hee! Ha!
[crash]
[crash]
Excuse me, could, uh, could somebody give me a push,
Excuse me, could, uh, could somebody give me a push,
please...?
please...?
Scene 18
Scene 18
[clop clop]
[clop clop]
ARTHUR: Old crone! Is there anywhere in this town where we could
ARTHUR: Old crone! Is there anywhere in this town where we could
buy a shrubbery!
buy a shrubbery!
[dramatic chord]
[dramatic chord]
CRONE: Who sent you?
CRONE: Who sent you?
ARTHUR: The Knights Who Say Nee.
ARTHUR: The Knights Who Say Nee.
CRONE: Agh! No! Never! We have no shrubberies here.
CRONE: Agh! No! Mai! We have no shrubberies here.
ARTHUR: If you do not tell us where we can buy a shrubbery, my
ARTHUR: If you do not tell us where we can buy a shrubbery, my
friend and I will say... we will say... 'nee'.
friend and I will say... we will say... 'nee'.
CRONE: Agh! Do your worst!
CRONE: Agh! Do your worst!
ARTHUR: Very well! If you will not assist us voluntarily,...
ARTHUR: Very well! If you will not assist us voluntarily,...
nee!
nee!
CRONE: No! Never! No shrubberies!
CRONE: No! Mai! No shrubberies!
ARTHUR: Nee!
ARTHUR: Nee!
BEDEMIR: Noo! Noo!
BEDEMIR: Noo! Noo!
ARTHUR: No, no, no, no -- it's not that, it's 'nee'.
ARTHUR: No, no, no, no -- it's not that, it's 'nee'.
BEDEMIR: Noo!
BEDEMIR: Noo!
ARTHUR: No, no -- 'nee'. You're not doing it properly.
ARTHUR: No, no -- 'nee'. You're not doing it properly.
BEDEMIR: Noo! Nee!
BEDEMIR: Noo! Nata!
ARTHUR: That's it, that's it, you've got it.
ARTHUR: That's it, that's it, you've got it.
ARTHUR and BEDEMIR: Nee! Nee!
ARTHUR and BEDEMIR: Nee! Nata!
ROGER: Are you saying 'nee' to that old woman?
ROGER: Are you saying 'nee' to that old woman?
ARTHUR: Um, yes.
ARTHUR: Um, yes.
ROGER: Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can
ROGER: Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can
'nee' at will to old ladies. There is a pestilence upon this land,
'nee' at will to old ladies. There is a pestilence upon this land,
nothing is sacred. Even those who arrange and design shrubberies
nothing is sacred. Even those who arrange and design shrubberies
are under considerable economic stress at this period in history.
are under considerable economic stress at this period in history.
ARTHUR: Did you say 'shrubberies'?
ARTHUR: Did you say 'shrubberies'?
ROGER: Yes, shrubberies are my trade -- I am a shrubber. My name
ROGER: Yes, shrubberies are my trade -- I am a shrubber. Il mio nome
is Roger the Shrubber. I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies.
is Roger the Shrubber. I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies.
BEDEMIR: Nee!
BEDEMIR: Nee!
ARTHUR: No! No, no, no! No!
ARTHUR: No! No, no, no! No!
Scene 19
Scene 19
ARTHUR: O, Knights of Nee, we have brought you your shrubbery.
ARTHUR: O, Knights of Nee, we have brought you your shrubbery.
May we go now?
May we go now?
HEAD KNIGHT: It is a good shrubbery. I like the laurels
HEAD KNIGHT: It is a good shrubbery. I like the laurels
particularly. But there is one small problem.
particularly. But there is one small problem.
ARTHUR: What is that?
ARTHUR: What is that?
HEAD KNIGHT: We are now... no longer the Knights Who Say Nee.
HEAD KNIGHT: We are now... no longer the Knights Who Say Nee.
RANDOM: Nee!
RANDOM: Nee!
HEAD KNIGHT: Shh shh. We are now the Knights Who Say
HEAD KNIGHT: Shh shh. We are now the Knights Who Say
Ecky-ecky-ecky-ecky-pikang-zoom-boing-mumble-mumble.
Ecky-ecky-ecky-ecky-pikang-zoom-boing-mumble-mumble.
RANDOM: Nee!
RANDOM: Nee!
HEAD KNIGHT: Therefore, we must give you a test.
HEAD KNIGHT: Therefore, we must give you a test.
ARTHUR: What is this test, O Knights of-- Knights Who 'Til
ARTHUR: What is this test, O Knights of-- Knights Who 'Til
Recently Said Nee?
Recently Said Nee?
HEAD KNIGHT: Firstly, you must find... another shrubbery!
HEAD KNIGHT: Firstly, you must find... another shrubbery!
[dramatic chord]
[dramatic chord]
ARTHUR: Not another shrubbery!
ARTHUR: Not another shrubbery!
HEAD KNIGHT: Then, when you have found the shrubbery, you must
HEAD KNIGHT: Then, when you have found the shrubbery, you must
place it here beside this shrubbery, only slightly higher so you
place it here beside this shrubbery, only slightly higher so you
get a two-level effect with a little path running down the middle.
get a two-level effect with a little path running down the middle.
RANDOM: A path! A path! Nee!
RANDOM: A path! A path! Nata!
HEAD KNIGHT: Then, when you have found the shrubbery, you must
HEAD KNIGHT: Then, when you have found the shrubbery, you must
cut down the mightiest tree in the forest... with... a herring!
cut down the mightiest tree in the forest... with... a herring!
[dramatic chord]
[dramatic chord]
ARTHUR: We shall do no such thing!
ARTHUR: We shall do no such thing!
HEAD KNIGHT: Oh, please!
HEAD KNIGHT: Oh, please!
ARTHUR: Cut down a tree with a herring? It can't be done.
ARTHUR: Cut down a tree with a herring? Esso non può essere fatto.
KNIGHTS: Aaaaugh! Aaaugh!
KNIGHTS: Aaaaugh! Aaaugh!
HEAD KNIGHT: Don't say that word.
HEAD KNIGHT: Don't say that word.
ARTHUR: What word?
ARTHUR: What word?
HEAD KNIGHT: I cannot tell, suffice to say is one of the words
HEAD KNIGHT: I cannot tell, suffice to say is one of the words
the Knights of Nee cannot hear.
the Knights of Nee cannot hear.
ARTHUR: How can we not say the word if you don't tell us what it
ARTHUR: How can we not say the word if you don't tell us what it
is?
è?
KNIGHTS: Aaaaugh! Aaaugh!
KNIGHTS: Aaaaugh! Aaaugh!
ARTHUR: What, 'is'?
ARTHUR: What, 'is'?
HEAD KNIGHT: No, not 'is' -- we couldn't get vary far in life not
HEAD KNIGHT: No, not 'is' -- we couldn't get vary far in life not
saying 'is'.
saying 'is'.
BEDEMIR: My liege, it's Sir Robin!
BEDEMIR: My liege, it's Sir Robin!
MINSTREL (singing): Packing it in and packing it up
MINSTREL (singing): Packing it in and packing it up
And sneaking away and buggering up
And sneaking away and buggering up
And chickening out and pissing about
And chickening out and pissing about
Yes, bravely he is throwing in the sponge
Yes, bravely he is throwing in the sponge
ARTHUR: Oh, Robin! ROBIN: My liege! It's good to see you!
ARTHUR: Oh, Robin! ROBIN: My liege! It's good to see you!
KNIGHTS: Aaaaugh!
KNIGHTS: Aaaaugh!
HEAD KNIGHT: He said the word!
HEAD KNIGHT: He said the word!
ARTHUR: Surely you've not given up your quest for the Holy Grail?
ARTHUR: Surely you've not given up your quest for the Holy Grail?
MINSTREL (singing): He is sneaking away and buggering up--
MINSTREL (singing): He is sneaking away and buggering up--
ROBIN: Shut up! No, no no-- far from it.
ROBIN: Shut up! No, no no-- far from it.
HEAD KNIGHT: He said the word again!
HEAD KNIGHT: He said the word again!
ROBIN: I was looking for it.
ROBIN: I was looking for it.
KNIGHTS: Aaaaugh!
KNIGHTS: Aaaaugh!
ROBIN: Uh, here, here in this forest.
ROBIN: Uh, here, here in this forest.
ARTHUR: No, it is far from--
ARTHUR: No, it is far from--
KNIGHTS: Aaaaugh!
KNIGHTS: Aaaaugh!
HEAD KNIGHT: Aaaaugh! Stop saying the word!
HEAD KNIGHT: Aaaaugh! Stop saying the word!
ARTHUR: Oh, stop it!
ARTHUR: Oh, stop it!
KNIGHTS: Aaaaugh!
KNIGHTS: Aaaaugh!
HEAD KNIGHT: Oh! He said it again!
HEAD KNIGHT: Oh! He said it again!
ARTHUR: Patsy!
ARTHUR: Patsy!
HEAD KNIGHT: Aaugh! I said it! I said it! Ooh! I said it
HEAD KNIGHT: Aaugh! L'ho detto! L'ho detto! Ooh! l'ho detto
again!
ancora!
KNIGHTS: Aaaaugh!
KNIGHTS: Aaaaugh!
Narrative Interlude
Narrative Interlude
NARRATOR: And so Arthur and Bedemir and Sir Robin set out on
NARRATOR: And so Arthur and Bedemir and Sir Robin set out on
their search to find the enchanter of whom the old man had spoken
their search to find the enchanter of whom the old man had spoken
in Scene 24. Beyond the forest they met Launcelot and Galahad,
in Scene 24. Beyond the forest they met Launcelot and Galahad,
and there was much rejoicing.
and there was much rejoicing.
ALL: Yay! Yay!
ALL: Yay! Sìì!
NARRATOR: In the frozen land of Nador they were forced to eat
NARRATOR: In the frozen land of Nador they were forced to eat
Robin's minstrels. And there was much rejoicing.
Robings minstrels. And there was much rejoicing.
ALL: Yay!
ALL: Yay!
NARRATOR: A year passed. Winter changed into Spring. Spring
NARRATOR: A year passed. Winter changed into Spring. Primavera
changed into Summer. Summer changed back into Winter. And Winter
changed into Summer. Summer changed back into Winter. And Winter
gave Spring and Summer a miss and went straight on into Autumn.
gave Spring and Summer a miss and went straight on into Autumn.
Until one day...
Until one day...
Scene 20
Scene 20
ARTHUR: Knights! Forward!
ARTHUR: Knights! Inoltrare!
[boom boom boom boom BOOM boom boom boom boom]
[boom boom boom boom BOOM boom boom boom boom]
What manner of man are you that can summon up fire without
What manner of man are you that can summon up fire without
flint or tinder?
flint or tinder?
TIM: I... am an enchanter.
TIM: I... am an enchanter.
ARTHUR: By what name are you known?
ARTHUR: By what name are you known?
TIM: There are some who call me... Tim?
TIM: There are some who call me... Tim?
ARTHUR: Greetings, Tim the Enchanter.
ARTHUR: Greetings, Tim the Enchanter.
TIM: Greetings, King Arthur!
TIM: Greetings, King Arthur!
ARTHUR: You know my name?
ARTHUR: You know my name?
TIM: I do.
TIM: I do.
[zoosh]
[zoosh]
You seek the Holy Grail!
You seek the Holy Grail!
ARTHUR: That is our quest. You know much that is hidden, O Tim.
ARTHUR: That is our quest. You know much that is hidden, O Tim.
TIM: Quite.
TIM: Quite.
[pweeng boom]
[pweeng boom]
[clap clap clap]
[clap clap clap]
ARTHUR: Yes, we're, we're looking for the Grail. Our quest is to
ARTHUR: Yes, we're, we're looking for the Grail. Our quest is to
find the Holy Grail.
find the Holy Grail.
KNIGHTS: It is, yes, yup, yes, yeah.
KNIGHTS: It is, yes, yup, yes, yeah.
ARTHUR: And so we're, we're, we're, we're looking for it.
ARTHUR: And so we're, we're, we're, we're looking for it.
KNIGHTS: Yes we are we are.
KNIGHTS: Yes we are we are.
BEDEMIR: We have been for some time.
BEDEMIR: We have been for some time.
ROBIN: Ages.
ROBIN: Ages.
ARTHUR: Uh, so, uh, anything you can do to, uh, to help, would
ARTHUR: Uh, so, uh, anything you can do to, uh, to help, would
be... very... helpful...
be... very... helpful...
GALAHAD: Look, can you tell us wh-
GALAHAD: Look, can you tell us wh-
[boom]
[boom]
ARTHUR: Fine, um, I don't want to waste anymore of your time,
ARTHUR: Fine, um, I don't want to waste anymore of your time,
but, uh I don't suppose you could, uh, tell us where we might find
but, uh I don't suppose you could, uh, tell us where we might find
a, um, find a, uh, a, um, a uh--
a, um, find a, uh, a, um, a uh--
TIM: A what...?
TIM: A what...?
ARTHUR: A g--, a g--
ARTHUR: A g--, a g--
TIM: A Grail?!
TIM: A Grail?!
ARTHUR: Yes, I think so.
ARTHUR: Yes, I think so.
KNIGHTS: Yes, that's it. Yes.
KNIGHTS: Yes, that's it. Sì.
TIM: Yes!
TIM: Yes!
KNIGHTS: Oh, thank you, splendid, fine.
KNIGHTS: Oh, thank you, splendid, fine.
[boom pweeng boom boom]
[boom pweeng boom boom]
ARTHUR: Look, you're a busy man, uh--
ARTHUR: Look, you're a busy man, uh--
TIM: Yes, I can help you find the Holy Grail.
TIM: Yes, I can help you find the Holy Grail.
KNIGHTS: Oh, thank you.
KNIGHTS: Oh, thank you.
TIM: To the north there lies a cave -- the cave of Kyre Banorg --
TIM: To the north there lies a cave -- the cave of Kyre Banorg --
wherein, carved in mystic runes upon the very living rock, the
wherein, carved in mystic runes upon the very living rock, the
last words of Ulfin Bedweer of Regett [boom] proclaim the last
last words of Ulfin Bedweer of Regett [boom] proclaim the last
resting place of the most Holy Grail.
resting place of the most Holy Grail.
ARTHUR: Where could we find this cave, O Tim?
ARTHUR: Where could we find this cave, O Tim?
TIM: Follow! But! follow only if ye be men of valor, for the
TIM: Follow! Ma! follow only if ye be men of valor, for the
entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so foul, so cruel
entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so foul, so cruel
that no man yet has fought with it and lived! Bones of four fifty
that no man yet has fought with it and lived! Bones of four fifty
men lie strewn about its lair. So, brave knights, if you do doubt
men lie strewn about its lair. So, brave knights, if you do doubt
your courage or your strength, come no further, for death awaits
your courage or your strength, come no further, for death awaits
you all with nasty big pointy teeth.
you all with nasty big pointy teeth.
ARTHUR: What an eccentric performance.
ARTHUR: What an eccentric performance.
Scene 21
Scene 21
[clop clop whinny]
[clop clop whinny]
???: They're nervous, sire.
???: They're nervous, sire.
ARTHUR: Then we'd best leave them here and carry on on foot.
ARTHUR: Then we'd best leave them here and carry on on foot.
Dis-mount!
Dis-mount!
TIM: Behold the cave of Kyre Banorg!
TIM: Behold the cave of Kyre Banorg!
ARTHUR: Right! Keep me covered.
ARTHUR: Right! Keep me covered.
???: What with?
???: What with?
ARTHUR: Just keep me covered.
ARTHUR: Just keep me covered.
TIM: Too late!
TIM: Too late!
[chord]
[chord]
ARTHUR: What?
ARTHUR: What?
TIM: There he is!
TIM: There he is!
ARTHUR: Where?
ARTHUR: Where?
TIM: There!
TIM: There!
ARTHUR: What, behind the rabbit?
ARTHUR: What, behind the rabbit?
TIM: It is the rabbit!
TIM: It is the rabbit!
ARTHUR: You silly sod! You got us all worked up!
ARTHUR: You silly sod! You got us all worked up!
TIM: Well, that's no ordinary rabbit. That's the most foul,
TIM: Well, that's no ordinary rabbit. That's the most foul,
cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on.
cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on.
ROBIN: You tit! I soiled my armor I was so scared!
ROBIN: You tit! I soiled my armor I was so scared!
TIM: Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide, it's
TIM: Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide, it's
a killer!
a killer!
???: Get stuffed!
???: Get stuffed!
TIM: It'll do you a trick, mate!
TIM: It'll do you a trick, mate!
???: Oh, yeah?
???: Oh, yeah?
ROBIN: You monkey's scot's get!
ROBIN: You monkey's scot's get!
TIM: I'm warning you!
TIM: I'm warning you!
ROBIN: What's he do, nibble your bum?
ROBIN: What's he do, nibble your bum?
TIM: He's got huge, sharp-- he can leap about-- look at the
TIM: He's got huge, sharp-- he can leap about-- look at the
bones!
bones!
ARTHUR: Go on, Boris. Chop his head off!
ARTHUR: Go on, Boris. Chop his head off!
BORIS: Right! Silly little bleeder. One rabbit'stew comin'
BORIS: Right! Silly little bleeder. One rabbit'stew coming
right up!
right up!
TIM: Look!
TIM: Look!
[squeak]
[squeak]
BORIS: Aaaugh!
BORIS: Aaaugh!
[chord]
[chord]
ARTHUR: Jesus Christ!
ARTHUR: Jesus Christ!
TIM: I warned you!
TIM: I warned you!
ROBIN: I peed again!
ROBIN: I peed again!
TIM: I warned you! But did you listen to me? Oh, no, you knew
TIM: I warned you! But did you listen to me? Oh, no, you knew
it all, didn't you? Oh, it's just a harmless little bunny, isn't
it all, didn't you? Oh, it's just a harmless little bunny, isn't
it? Well, it's always the same, I always--
esso? Well, it's always the same, I always--
ARTHUR: Oh, shut up!
ARTHUR: Oh, shut up!
TIM: --But do they listen to me?--
TIM: --But do they listen to me?--
ARTHUR: Right!
ARTHUR: Right!
TIM: -Oh, no--
TIM: -Oh, no--
KNIGHTS: Charge!
KNIGHTS: Charge!
[squeak squeak]
[squeak squeak]
KNIGHTS: Aaaaugh! Aaaugh! etc.
KNIGHTS: Aaaaugh! Aaaugh! eccetera.
KNIGHTS: Run away! Run away!
KNIGHTS: Run away! Scappa!
TIM: Haw haw haw. Haw haw haw. Haw haw.
TIM: Haw haw haw. Haw haw haw. Haw haw.
ARTHUR: Right. How many did we lose?
ARTHUR: Right. How many did we lose?
???: Gawain.
???: Gawain.
???: Hector.
???: Hector.
ARTHUR: And Boris. That's five.
ARTHUR: And Boris. That's five.
GALAHAD: Three, sir.
GALAHAD: Three, sir.
ARTHUR: Three. Three. And we'd better not risk another frontal
ARTHUR: Three. Tre. And we'd better not risk another frontal
assault, that rabbit's dynamite.
assault, that rabbit's dynamite.
ROBIN: Would it help to confuse it if we run away more?
ROBIN: Would it help to confuse it if we run away more?
ARTHUR: Oh, shut up and go and change your armor.
ARTHUR: Oh, shut up and go and change your armor.
GALAHAD: Let us taunt it! It may become so cross that it will
GALAHAD: Let us taunt it! It may become so cross that it will
make a mistake.
make a mistake.
ARTHUR: Like what?
ARTHUR: Like what?
GALAHAD: Well,....
GALAHAD: Well,....
ARTHUR: Have we got bows?
ARTHUR: Have we got bows?
???: No.
???: No.
LAUNCELOT: We have the Holy Hand Grenade.
LAUNCELOT: We have the Holy Hand Grenade.
ARTHUR: Yes, of course! The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch! 'Tis
ARTHUR: Yes, of course! The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch! 'Tis
one of the sacred relics Brother Maynard carries with him! Brother
one of the sacred relics Brother Maynard carries with him! Fratello
Maynard! Bring up the Holy Hand Grenade!
Maynard! Bring up the Holy Hand Grenade!
[singing]
[canto]
How does it, uh... how does it work?
How does it, uh... how does it work?
???: I know not, my liege.
???: I know not, my liege.
???: Consult the Book of Armaments!
???: Consult the Book of Armaments!
MAYNARD: Armaments, Chapter Two, Verses Nine to Twenty-One.
MAYNARD: Armaments, Chapter Two, Verses Nine to Twenty-One.
BROTHER: And Saint Atila raised the hand grenade up on high,
BROTHER: And Saint Atila raised the hand grenade up on high,
saying, 'Oh, Lord, bless this thy hand grenade that with it thou
saying, 'Oh, Lord, bless this thy hand grenade that with it thou
mayest blow thy enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the Lord
mayest blow thy enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the Lord
did grin, and people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and
did grin, and people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and
carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and
carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and
fruit bats, and large --
fruit bats, and large --
MAYNARD: Skip a bit, Brother.
MAYNARD: Skip a bit, Brother.
BROTHER: And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out
BROTHER: And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out
the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less.
the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less.
Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the
Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the
counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either
counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either
count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is
count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is
right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be
a destra fuori. Once the number three, being the third number, be
reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards
reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards
thou foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.'
thou foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.'
MAYNARD: Amen.
MAYNARD: Amen.
ALL: Amen.
ALL: Amen.
ARTHUR: Right! One... two... five!
ARTHUR: Right! One... two... five!
???: Three, sir!
???: Three, sir!
ARTHUR: Three!
ARTHUR: Three!
[boom]
[boom]
Scene 22
Scene 22
???: There! Look!
???: There! Guarda!
LAUNCELOT: What does it say?
LAUNCELOT: What does it say?
GALAHAD: What language is that?
GALAHAD: What language is that?
ARTHUR: Brother Maynard, you're our scholar!
ARTHUR: Brother Maynard, you're our scholar!
MAYNARD: It's Aramaic!
MAYNARD: It's Aramaic!
GALAHAD: Of course! Joseph of Aramathea!
GALAHAD: Of course! Joseph of Aramathea!
LAUNCELOT: Course!
LAUNCELOT: Course!
???: What does it say?
???: What does it say?
MAYNARD: It reads, 'Here may be found the last words of Joseph of
MAYNARD: It reads, 'Here may be found the last words of Joseph of
Aramathea. He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find the
Aramathea. He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find the
Holy Grail in the Castle of uuggggggh'.
Holy Grail in the Castle of uuggggggh'.
ARTHUR: What?
ARTHUR: What?
MAYNARD: '... the Castle of uuggggggh'.
MAYNARD: '... the Castle of uuggggggh'.
BEDEMIR: What is that?
BEDEMIR: What is that?
MAYNARD: He must have died while carving it.
MAYNARD: He must have died while carving it.
LAUNCELOT: Oh, come on!
LAUNCELOT: Oh, come on!
MAYNARD: Well, that's what it says.
MAYNARD: Well, that's what it says.
ARTHUR: Look, if he was dying, he wouldn't bother to carve
ARTHUR: Look, if he was dying, he wouldn't bother to carve
'aaggggh'. He'd just say it!
'aaggggh'. He'd just say it!
MAYNARD: Well, that's what's carved in the rock!
MAYNARD: Well, that's what's carved in the rock!
GALAHAD: Perhaps he was dictating.
GALAHAD: Perhaps he was dictating.
ARTHUR: Oh, shut up. Well, does it say anything else?
ARTHUR: Oh, shut up. Well, does it say anything else?
MAYNARD: No. Just, 'uuggggggh'.
MAYNARD: No. Just, 'uuggggggh'.
LAUNCELOT: Aauuggghhh.
LAUNCELOT: Aauuggghhh.
???: Aaauggh.
???: Aaauggh.
BEDEMIR: You don't suppose he meant the Camauuuugh?
BEDEMIR: You don't suppose he meant the Camauuuugh?
???: Where's that?
???: Where's that?
BEDEMIR: France, I think.
BEDEMIR: France, I think.
LAUNCELOT: Isn't there a Saint Aauuuves in Cornwall?
LAUNCELOT: Isn't there a Saint Aauuuves in Cornwall?
ARTHUR: No, that's Saint Ives.
ARTHUR: No, that's Saint Ives.
LAUNCELOT: Oh, yes. Saint Iiiives.
LAUNCELOT: Oh, yes. Saint Iiiives.
SEVERAL: Iiiiives.
SEVERAL: Iiiiives.
BEDEMIR: Oooohoohohooo!
BEDEMIR: Oooohoohohooo!
LAUNCELOT: No, no, aauuuuugh, at the back of the throat.
LAUNCELOT: No, no, aauuuuugh, at the back of the throat.
Aauuugh.
Aauuugh.
BEDEMIR: No, no, no, oooooooh, in surprise and alarm.
BEDEMIR: No, no, no, oooooooh, in surprise and alarm.
LAUNCELOT: Oh, you mean sort of a aaaagh!
LAUNCELOT: Oh, you mean sort of a aaaagh!
BEDEMIR: Yes, but I-- Aaaaagh!
BEDEMIR: Yes, but I-- Aaaaagh!
???: Oooh!
???: Oooh!
???: Oh, no!
???: Oh, no!
[roar]
[roar]
MAYNARD: It's the legendary Black Beast of aaauuugh!
MAYNARD: It's the legendary Black Beast of aaauuugh!
ARTHUR: Run away!
ARTHUR: Run away!
ALL: Run away! Run away!
ALL: Run away! Scappa!
[roar]
[roar]
NARRATOR: As the horrendous Black Beast lunged forward, escape
NARRATOR: As the horrendous Black Beast lunged forward, escape
for Arthur and his knights seemed hopeless. When, suddenly, the
for Arthur and his knights seemed hopeless. When, suddenly, the
animator suffered a fatal heart attack. [ulk] The cartoon
animator suffered a fatal heart attack. [ulk] The cartoon
peril was no more. The Quest for Holy Grail could continue.
peril was no more. The Quest for Holy Grail could continue.
Scene 23
Scene 23
ARTHUR: There it is! The Bridge of Death!
ARTHUR: There it is! The Bridge of Death!
ROBIN: Oh, great.
ROBIN: Oh, great.
???: Look!
???: Look!
ARTHUR: There's the old man from Scene 24!
ARTHUR: There's the old man from Scene 24!
BEDEMIR: What is he doing here?
BEDEMIR: What is he doing here?
ARTHUR: He is the keeper of the Bridge of Death. He asks each
ARTHUR: He is the keeper of the Bridge of Death. He asks each
traveller five questions--
traveller five questions--
???: Three questions.
???: Three questions.
ARTHUR: Three questions. He who answers the five questions--
ARTHUR: Three questions. He who answers the five questions--
???: Three questions.
???: Three questions.
ARTHUR: Three questions may cross in safety.
ARTHUR: Three questions may cross in safety.
ROBIN: What if you get a question wrong?
ROBIN: What if you get a question wrong?
ARTHUR: Then you are cast into the Gorge of Eternal Peril.
ARTHUR: Then you are cast into the Gorge of Eternal Peril.
ROBIN: Oh, I won't go.
ROBIN: Oh, I won't go.
???: Who's going to answer the questions?
???: Who's going to answer the questions?
ARTHUR: Sir Robin!
ARTHUR: Sir Robin!
ROBIN: Yes?
ROBIN: Yes?
ARTHUR: Brave Sir Robin, you go.
ARTHUR: Brave Sir Robin, you go.
ROBIN: Hey! I've got a great idea. Why doesn't Launcelot go?
ROBIN: Hey! I've got a great idea. Why doesn't Launcelot go?
LAUNCELOT: Yes, let me go, my liege. I will take him
LAUNCELOT: Yes, let me go, my liege. Io lo prenderò
single-handed. I shall make a feint to the north-east--
single-handed. I shall make a feint to the north-east--
ARTHUR: No, no, hang on hang on hang on! Just answer the five
ARTHUR: No, no, hang on hang on hang on! Just answer the five
questions--
questions--
???: Three questions.
???: Three questions.
ARTHUR: Three questions as best you can. And we shall watch...
ARTHUR: Three questions as best you can. And we shall watch...
and pray.
and pray.
LAUNCELOT: I understand, my liege.
LAUNCELOT: I understand, my liege.
ARTHUR: Good luck, brave Sir Launcelot. God be with you.
ARTHUR: Good luck, brave Sir Launcelot. Che Dio sia con te.
KEEPER: Stop! Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me
KEEPER: Stop! Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me
these questions three, 'ere the other side he see.
these questions three, 'ere the other side he see.
LAUNCELOT: Ask me the questions, bridge-keeper. I'm not afraid.
LAUNCELOT: Ask me the questions, bridge-keeper. Non ho paura.
KEEPER: What is your name?
KEEPER: What is your name?
LAUNCELOT: My name is Sir Launcelot of Camelot.
LAUNCELOT: My name is Sir Launcelot of Camelot.
KEEPER: What is your quest?
KEEPER: What is your quest?
LAUNCELOT: To seek the Holy Grail.
LAUNCELOT: To seek the Holy Grail.
KEEPER: What is your favorite color?
KEEPER: What is your favorite color?
LAUNCELOT: Blue.
LAUNCELOT: Blue.
KEEPER: Right. Off you go.
KEEPER: Right. Off you go.
LAUNCELOT: Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.
LAUNCELOT: Oh, thank you. Grazie mille.
ROBIN: That's easy!
ROBIN: That's easy!
KEEPER: Stop! Who approaches the Bridge of Death must answer me
KEEPER: Stop! Who approaches the Bridge of Death must answer me
these questions three, 'ere the other side he see.
these questions three, 'ere the other side he see.
ROBIN: Ask me the questions, bridge-keeper. I'm not afraid.
ROBIN: Ask me the questions, bridge-keeper. Non ho paura.
KEEPER: What is your name?
KEEPER: What is your name?
ROBIN: Sir Robin of Camelot.
ROBIN: Sir Robin of Camelot.
KEEPER: What is your quest?
KEEPER: What is your quest?
ROBIN: To seek the Holy Grail.
ROBIN: To seek the Holy Grail.
KEEPER: What is the capital of Assyria?
KEEPER: What is the capital of Assyria?
ROBIN: I don't know that! Auuuuuuuugh!
ROBIN: I don't know that! Auuuuuuuugh!
KEEPER: Stop! What is your name?
KEEPER: Stop! Come ti chiami?
GALAHAD: Sir Galahad of Camelot.
GALAHAD: Sir Galahad of Camelot.
KEEPER: What is your quest?
KEEPER: What is your quest?
GALAHAD: I seek the Holy Grail.
GALAHAD: I seek the Holy Grail.
KEEPER: What is your favorite color?
KEEPER: What is your favorite color?
GALAHAD: Blue. No yel-- Auuuuuuuugh!
GALAHAD: Blue. No yel-- Auuuuuuuugh!
KEEPER: Heh heh. Stop! What is your name?
KEEPER: Heh heh. Stop! Come ti chiami?
ARTHUR: It is Arthur, King of the Britons.
ARTHUR: It is Arthur, King of the Britons.
KEEPER: What is your quest?
KEEPER: What is your quest?
ARTHUR: To seek the Holy Grail.
ARTHUR: To seek the Holy Grail.
KEEPER: What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
KEEPER: What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
ARTHUR: What do you mean? An African or European swallow?
ARTHUR: What do you mean? An African or European swallow?
KEEPER: What? I don't know that! Auuuuuuuugh!
KEEPER: What? I don't know that! Auuuuuuuugh!
BEDEMIR: How do know so much about swallows?
BEDEMIR: How do know so much about swallows?
ARTHUR: Well, you have to know these things when you're a king
ARTHUR: Well, you have to know these things when you're a king
you know.
sai.
Scene 24
Scene 24
ARTHUR: Launcelot! Launcelot! Launcelot!
ARTHUR: Launcelot! Launcelot! Launcelot!
BEDEMIR: Launcelot! Launcelot!
BEDEMIR: Launcelot! Launcelot!
ARTHUR: Launcelot! Launcelot!
ARTHUR: Launcelot! Launcelot!
BEDEMIR: Launcelot! Launcelot!
BEDEMIR: Launcelot! Launcelot!
[angels singing]
[angels singing]
ARTHUR: The Castle Aggh. Our quest is at an end! God be
ARTHUR: The Castle Aggh. Our quest is at an end! God be
praised! Almighty God, we thank Thee that Thou hast [something]
praised! Almighty God, we thank Thee that Thou hast [something]
safe [something] the most-
safe [something] the most-
[twong baaaa]
[twong baaaa]
Jesus Christ!
Gesù Cristo!
GUARD: 'Allo, daffy English kaniggets and Monsieur Arthur-King,
GUARD: 'Allo, daffy English kaniggets and Monsieur Arthur-King,
who is afraid of a duck, you know! So, we French fellows out-wit
who is afraid of a duck, you know! So, we French fellows out-wit
you a second time!
you a second time!
ARTHUR: How dare you profane this place with your presence!? I
ARTHUR: How dare you profane this place with your presence!? io
command you, in the name of the Knights of Camelot, to open the
command you, in the name of the Knights of Camelot, to open the
doors of this sacred castle, to which God himself has guided us!
doors of this sacred castle, to which God himself has guided us!
GUARD: How you English say, I one more time-a unclog my nose in
GUARD: How you English say, I one more time-a unclog my nose in
your direction, sons of a window-dresser! So, you think you could
your direction, sons of a window-dresser! So, you think you could
out-clever us French folk with your silly knees-bent running about
out-clever us French folk with your silly knees-bent running about
in dancing behavior! I wave my private parts at your aunties, you
in dancing behavior! I wave my private parts at your aunties, you
heaving lot of second hand electric donkey bottom biters.
heaving lot of second hand electric donkey bottom biters.
ARTHUR: In the name of the Lord, we demand entrance to this
ARTHUR: In the name of the Lord, we demand entrance to this
sacred castle!
sacred castle!
GUARD: No chance, English bedwetting types. I burst my pimples
GUARD: No chance, English bedwetting types. I burst my pimples
at you and call your door opening request a silly thing. You
at you and call your door opening request a silly thing. tu
tiny-brained wipers of other people's bottoms!
tiny-brained wipers of other people's bottoms!
ARTHUR: If you do not open this door, we shall take this castle
ARTHUR: If you do not open this door, we shall take this castle
by force!
by force!
[splat]
[splat]
In the name of God and the glory of our--
In the name of God and the glory of our--
[splat]
[splat]
Right! That settles it!
Destra! That settles it!
GUARD: Yes, this time and [something] any more or we fire arrows
GUARD: Yes, this time and [something] any more or we fire arrows
at the tops of your heads and make castanets out of your testicles
at the tops of your heads and make castanets out of your testicles
already! Ha ha!
already! Ah ah!
ARTHUR: Walk away. Just ignore them.
ARTHUR: Walk away. Just ignore them.
GUARD: No, remain ??? illegitimate faced buggerfuls! And, if you
GUARD: No, remain ??? illegitimate faced buggerfuls! And, if you
think you got nasty taunting this time, you ain't heard nothing
think you got nasty taunting this time, you ain't heard nothing
yet! Daffy English kaniggets! Thpppt!
yet! Daffy English kaniggets! Thpppt!
ARTHUR: We shall attack at once!
ARTHUR: We shall attack at once!
BEDEMIR: Yes, my liege!
BEDEMIR: Yes, my liege!
ARTHUR: Stand by for attack!
ARTHUR: Stand by for attack!
[ ending nonsense ]
[ ending nonsense ]